Feminist LOTR: Hmmm, that would be interesting

Dude, someone should totally write a feminist LOTR. Okay, yeah, I'm sort of anti-feminist, but there should be like a spoofish girl version, possibly? Orlando Bloom could still be in it, for those who actually find him attractive. Since all the boy characters will become girls...Orlando can be Galadriel.
Gah.
If only I could think up a manly elvish name.
Poo.
Lol, Meg Cabot's "Safe House" is really funny. It's not supposed to be but it is and I love it. Mark Leskowski is apparently super amazing. The description sounds awfully familiar. Oh wait. I know who he looks like. *says nothing more*
"We could like...go for dinner...nothing fancy, pizza, or something." And then he takes her to the restraunt she owns. It's funnier when you read it. And I know his girlfriend just died, but seriously, the part where he cried was less than moving.
Maybe a tad...
funny?
I have no emotions.
I'm so unfeeling.
Boohoo.
Agh my teeth feel gross. They do that, especially after I've been sucking on an entire bag of Skittles. Which is what I've been doing. No, I wasn't sucking on the bag, I was sucking on the Skittles. It was a bit bag, too, what they like to call "Tear and Share size". I did tear but did not share.
Heather better win "Hell's Kitchen" or I will seriously hurt someone. I mean Virginia has no skill and SHE'S SO ANNOYING. Heather is only a little bit better, but you like her more.
A. She has skill.
B. She's not stupid.
C. For all you feminists out there, she's going out there and making a way for herself as a woman. Yeah. Woo. Not.
VIRGINIA GETS ON MY NERVES! She probably did cheat on the recipe thing. Well, the whole couscous thing was totally gay, but I bet she read the book, too. And the only reason her recipe was the best last week is because she was flirting with all the construction workers. This show is about cooking, not bra size. Get that through your construction helmet, savvy? Thank you.
The Canadian channel is sick. Even Red Green stooped to the very awkward subtle-sexual humor-that's-awkward-with-your-brother. Although, I guess it's a good thing, cuz some shows aren't so subtle.
Such as...let's not go there.