Aw, fudge.

Mmmm, fudge sounds goooooood.
I took my driver's test today...aaaaaaaand it didn't go so well.
It wasn't even like, "Oh, you missed it by this much!" I failed miserably.
And I knew it.
First thing on the test: PARALLEL PARKING.
I'd had five people tell me it wouldn't be on the test, but I guess I didn't read the pamphlet thoroughly enough, because I had to do it.
That was the first thing I did wrong.
I hit a cone, then tried to pull into the parking spot, but ended up parking NEXT to the spot.
I was completely parallel, too. How did that happen?
So I tried again.
Another epic failure.
My driving instructor, a really nice Guamanean lady, sighed and wearily asked me to re-enter traffic.
Which I did.
For the rest of the test I did fine. I'm a good driver.
Sort of.
Then I had to back around a corner.
I thought I understood her instructions, but apparently I wasn't listening hard enough or my brain malfunctioned, because an instant after she said them I forgot. I started turning my wheels every which way, bumping into the curb, ramming into brick walls, and asking, "Wait, you want me to turn into the driveway? Straight line into the driveway? Oh, turn RIGHT!" So I turned my car left.
She sighed again and asked me to re-enter traffic without killing anybody, which I managed to do.
The atmosphere of the car wasn't a hopeful one. A dark cloud hung over the Le Sabre and her body language boded ill.
But she was really nice about it.
Ed would have berated me and explained every little thing I did wrong and what a bad driver I was, compared to him and every other teenager out there.
Actually, that's kind of what she did.
But the WAY she did it wasn't as mean.
So she left and my dad came back and I had another big fight with him (we'd had one coming into the parking lot, when he decided constructive criticism was the best way to go - right before my test!!!).
He wanted me to go inside the DOL and renew my permit.
At this point, after *cough cough* bravely listening to my instructor tell me just how badly I failed, I couldn't take it anymore was bawling like a baby.
And my dad expected me to go inside, red-eyed and tear-stained, to smile for my permit picture.
That didn't go over well.
So he yelled a lot and I cried and might have cussed him out.
Correction: I did cuss him out.
Which he let go. I was a little surprised. I've never been grounded, but for what I said, I probably should have been.
It was bad.
But my mom bought me flavored Tootsie rolls and let me chill out and get away from people for a little while.
So Tie and I went on a long walk.
We were greatly cheered by cheery mechanics, cute old people, and skeevy old bikers.
The Lance Armstrong kind, not the tough leather-clad variety.
This one rode by me at least 5 times.
The last time he called out, "Good morning," and smirked heartily.
It cracked me up, but I couldn't figure out his motives.
Was he checking me out (unlikely) or trying to prove that he was so much faster than A GIRL WALKING HER DOG?
Congratulations! You can bike 2 miles faster than I can walk them! Good for you! By the way, I'M 16!!!!
He was at least 30.
Maybe even 40.
Ew.

I'm gonna get so drunk...on Mountain Dew!!

Tie and I were accosted by some Mormons today.
We'd seen them approach a couple people walking in front of us, so we crossed over to the other side of the street, just to be safe.
There's nothing wrong with Mormons. But I didn't want to take part in a polite, but passionate spiritual debate.
They saw me and greeted me anyway, commenting on Tie's interesting appearance.
For those of you that haven't seen her, she looks like a giant bat/miniature wolf.
Then they politely asked me if I'd be interested in going to their church.
I asked if they meant the Mormon church.
Our conversation went something like this.
"Hello there, ma'am. Are you enjoying your walk?"
"Um...yes." The sky is a lovely dark gray and it's 60 degrees outside. I'm walking 2 miles in flip-flops with an overly-curious dog. Not so much.
"Wow, what kind of dog is that."
I didn't really feel like explaining. "I don't know. I got her off the internet." Weird as it sounds, that happens to be true.
There is a brief moment of good-natured laughter.
"Well, ma'am, would you be interested in checking out our church?"
Um, do you mean temple? "Um, do you mean the Mormon church?"
"Yes, that's it's nickname."
More laughter.
I tried to extricate myself from the situation politely without coming off as a Bible thumper. This is what I managed to come up with: "Um...no thanks. I believe in the Bible, not the Book of Mormon."
The Mormons only seemed a little offended, but they got more aggressive with their pitch.
"We believe in the Bible, too!"
"No, thanks...I'm good." Aren't I so wonderful with people?
"Oh, well, do you know who wrote the Book of Mormon?"
What kind of question is that? "No...."
"Well, it was written around the same time as the Bible. In fact, they were written at the same time." Um, that's cool. I'm really not sure what you're trying to prove.... "I really don't think you understand. We could definitely explain it to you so you DO understand."
"Um, no, that's okay. I'm just...not in the mood for a spiritual debate. Have a nice day, though."
"Oh. Okay. Well, have a nice day."
I felt bad. Maybe I should have talked to them, but I know they would have talked me down. And I didn't really feel like explaining the differences between our two "religions" and pointing out that what they believe is COMPLETELY different from what I believe.
And as soon as I walked away, I thought up all this stuff I could've said that would've been direct, but not overly confrontational.
But that's how life works.
I like Mormons in general. For some reason, they're always really polite and chatty.
Sure, some of them get a little overzealous.
But there were two Mormons who talked to me today, and the one who didn't do any talking was completely cheerful and friendly, where the other guy was friendly, but still a little persistent.
And my Mormon guy friends are chivalrous, respectful, and moral.
So all the good ones aren't taken. They're Mormon. And the Bible (I couldn't resist being a little preachy) told me I shouldn't get involved with someone who doesn't believe in Hell.
Or that Jesus was the Son of God.
Oh, and good works aren't everything.

Glad that's settled...sort of....

Not again.
I might have a friend who's angling for a more-than-friends relationship.
But I'm really not interested.
We were hanging out today, though, and he told me some interesting stuff about his best friend.
The one who led me on for an entire school year.
THAT one.
He wanted to know "what had happened between us", because not a lot of people knew what was going on at the time.
So I told him the basics without going into the whiny, dirty details.
His reply?
"Hm, intesting. That's basically what he said, but he told me you were WAAAAAY more into it than he was."
Excuse me?
That annoyed me a little. Okay, a lot. He'd semi-stalked me for a month before our whole "relationship" debacle began, and did all sorts of creepy boyfriend type things, even though we never officially went out.
Oh yeah, but he wasn't into it.
But it sort of made sense that he would say that, because don't most guys say stuff like that? "Oh yeah, I broke up with her. It just wasn't working. She was way too into it!"
Then he started telling me about all of his ex-girlfriends and how he led on a BUNCH of other girls, including me.
Oh, and one of my best friends, who ALSO liked him at the time.
WTF?? I feel like I've walked into a teen drama.
The whole situation was stupid when it was happening, but this is RIDICULOUS!
And it makes me mad that after everything, I thought, "You know, he made a mistake, but so did I. It just didn't work out, that's all."
But no. It turns out this guy is REALLY a jerk, and he's been hurting girls ON PURPOSE because he's a JERK.
And I'm still FRIENDS with him!
Ugh. I was pretty mad after that.
And my friend, the one telling me all this, was like, "Yeah, he's kind of a dick."
UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR!!!
So they're still friends, and he's still in my group of friends, but apparently he's been saying stuff about me behind my back (and I haven't exactly refrained from doing the same to him, to be honest...), so this coming school year, I don't exactly think we'll be hanging out.
I just wish my friends didn't like him so much.
Then again, he has sort of changed in the past year, and has been making a big deal about how much more popular/stylish/cool/knowledgable he is compared to the rest of us band kids.
So hopefully he'll decide to just go away.
I'm also mad that he refused to talk to me about it, and I had to figure out what really happened from his best friend months later.
Ugh. Stupid.

Cheesy e-mail forwards gone wrong

My dad's friends have been sending us a billion, like "For all who love dogs-hahaha" and "Kids explaining the Bible - too funny"!
But there was this one sent that made me cry.
And I felt stupid. But some of them were so sad.
Yesterday was a little bit sad for my grandpa.
Well, not a little bit.
His sister died, and he had to spend most of the day like it didn't bother him, being the host.
And he'd been expecting it.
But something like that would still ruin your day.
Or week.
It was a great picnic, though. Usually I hate the Fourth of July, but I actually enjoyed myself this year.
The ice cream took forever to make, but it was delicious, as usual.
The blackbottom cupcakes were delicious. Nathan tried to steal the one Grandma was saving. But he failed.
I ate an entire bar of Hershey's, but it was disappointing. Kind of dry. Disgusting.
There was some random guy I'm almost positive I'm not related to.
Funny how hormones work.
You see someone you like and decide to be on your "best behavior". From that moment on, you make a complete fool of yourself.
Other times, when you don't like anyone and you're just being yourself, you unknowingly attract someone else.
Weird. No one really wins.

Refreshing foot spray!

It has rosemary and eucalyptus oil in it.
How...fabulous.
I used to hate the smell, but it's kind of grown on me.
It's a summer pasttime. Might as well spend all my time on quizilla.
I'm actually pretty into "Anne of Green Gables", as lame as that might sound.
I finished the first one and am making my way through "Anne of Avonlea".
I've read the first three a couple of times, but forgot how much I like the series.
So I'll finish that series while reading another and trying to finish "Les Miserables".
Like that'll ever happen.
But I'm hoping that maybe...someday...
Psh. I know what happens to Valjean anyway.
"Love's Labours Lost" is my new favorite Shakespeare play! It's a riot, even funnier than "The Taming of the Shrew"!
There are all sorts of inappropriate sex jokes.
Boyet made one about inserting his arrow into Rosaline's mark or something, and the translation at the bottom was, mark: female genitals, arrow: penis.
Rather shocking.
Biron was my favorite. The King and the three scholars all wrote sonnets to their lady loves, but Biron's was the best.
I swooned a little bit reading it. He can shoot my mark anytime.
But I was expecting a huge quadruple wedding at the end, but it wasn't to be.
I could care less about the other people, but Biron and Rosaline were supposed to rush into each other's arms and embrace passionately.
Oh well. At least she said she'd consider marrying him in a year's time.
And I like how one of the themes was Girl Power. All the guys were losers.
Except Moth.
I've been cooing a lot. Maybe I should stop exposing myself to overly romantic stuff.
But I can't help it! Awwww, Biron. Awwww, Gilbert Blythe. Stuff like that.

SJs rule the world...no wonder...

Male and Female Personality Graphs

You're so vain...

Parents.
Yes, the only reason I'm alive is so I can make you mad, Dad.
You see, it's my fault the concert in Keyport ended early.
So I sat in the backseat of the car trying to make him laugh, while he explained to me how my jokes weren't funny because they were innacurate.
Yes, I know Michael Jackson wasn't an albino. That's not the POINT.
But I digress.
I'm 58 pages into Les Miserables! Yes! Only 1410 pages to go!
Crap. I'm trying to find this book I saw about the art of making playlists, but it doesn't seem to exist.
My brother and I got into an argument regarding Les Miserables.
After listening to the CD a billion times, I found it rather depressing. The peasants continued to lead hopeless lives where no one gave a crap, and most of the "good guys" die. Marius is getting married and should be the happiest man alive, but he can't help thinking about all the friends he lost and can't celebrate. He literally lost ALL of his friends. Every single one of them DIED!
But Nathan argued that, later in history, the good guys eventually won, so the musical wasn't sad at all. And Javert, one of the "bad guys" died, so not everything was bad.
Hello? Eponine is dead. Gavroche is dead. Javert wrestles with his conscience and has the chance of becoming a good man, but decides he can't live with himself after all the things he's done and KILLS HIMSELF. Thenardier, one of the villians, ends up on top by robbing people. And Valjean, the hero, a changed man who's lived a full life, DIES.
Sure, of old age, with his daughter by his side, but STILL.
It's not the kind of thing I listen to when I want to be HAPPY.
But no, Nathan berated me for not thinking of the historical context and for even being sad at all.
Ugh. He was sort of joking, but of course he thought was right.
As usual.
We constantly butt heads over stuff like that.
I'll be sad about something, and he'll be all, "Well, logically..."
Irritating.
And yet my mom gets it???
Who knows.

Interesting theory....

Someone just combined two of my favorite things: Myers-Briggs and Harry Potter!
They think that each of the four houses represents a different group of personality types.
Although I agree with another person who posted and said Slytherins were the Protectors and Gryffindors Creators, rather than the other way around.
Because many of the Gryffindors were rather impulsive (a P characteristic). The only one who wasn't was Hermione.
So that means:
Protectors (SJ): Slytherin
Creators (SP): Gryffindor
Intellectuals (NT): Ravenclaw
Visionaries (NF): Hufflepuff
I'm a Visionary (INFP), and I took one of the more accurate Sorting Hat quizzes, and it put me in Hufflepuff.
What do you know? That fits!
What a cool theory.
Psh. Gryffindors are overrated anyway.

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

Jesus sure looks nice in that Superman T-shirt

Crap. "Les Miserables" is at the library.
All 1438 pages of it.
Aaargh.
I don't want to read that many pages!
I have 8 other series to read this summer!
And I could barely focus while reading LOTR, what with all the fighting and recapping.
The French Revolution is going to be even worse!
I read the abridged version. That should count for something.
William and I watched "Godspell" last night.
An article in A&E stated that there are two kinds of people: Godspell people and Jesus Christ Superstar people.
Not having seen Jesus Christ Superstar, I wouldn't know.
But I'm not really that into Godspell either.
It was pretty trippy.
People follow the magical horn of John/Judas the Baptist/Iscariot, who pops in out and out of windows, ballet dances, and libraries for some odd reason.
Then they all jump into the fountain and dance to "Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord".
Then Jesus appears wearing nothing but blue boxers. He wants to get washed up!
After being baptized by John, he pops out of the fountain WEARING CLOTHES!
That part threw me a little, and I stared at the TV with my mouth open for five minutes afterward.
Then they went on to act out parables in strange, unorthodox ways.
Then again, Jesus himself was pretty unorthodox in his day.
But that didn't make the movie any less weird.
The music was great. Alas, alas, you lawyers and Pharisees! "Day by Day" was somewhat ruined for me by the fact that Robin sang like a man.
I really couldn't understand how tying a man's arms to a chainlink fence while he stands on a bucket could ever be fatal. I know that wasn't really the point, but still.
And then it was as if the director ALSO missed the entire point of Jesus' death: he DIDN'T rise from the dead!
And, yeah, whoever wrote the play obviously didn't believe Jesus had, didn't believe he was the Son of God, etc.
But still. Why write a play about Jesus if you leave out one of the most important parts?
And yes, I can think of reasons why.
But it made the ending somewhat of a bummer.
His disciples decide to carry his dead body around town, while they sing merrily.
Which could be interpreted as joy because they know Jesus did good things and now it was their turn to share the good news with other people.
But if Jesus never rose...what good news would they have to share?
I also found it weird that Jesus died but Judas lived.
The other disciples didn't seem mad at all that Judas betrayed and essentially killed their Rabbi.
In the Bible? He killed himself, because he felt so guilty, and maybe (this is speculation) he knew that the other disciples wouldn't be able to forgive him.
In fact, they might even have killed him.
So he beat them to it.
Which makes me sad because he screwed up big time, but he was sorry afterwards.
Yeah, that sounds lame, but it wasn't just, "Oh dear, I regret that decision." His attitude was, "How can I live with myself after what I've done? What a terrible decision!"
So he bought a field and possibly hanged himself. There's a verse that talks about his blood and guts flying everywhere, which didn't sound like a hanging. :O Maybe the other disciples got him after all.
When the high school did "Godspell" last fall, they changed the ending and it was pretty epic. Shafer had commented that the ending seemed kind of hopeless and wanted to include the Resurrection into the script. So, in the play, Judas and another disciple placed Jesus' body in a box. While they were singing "Long Live God", they opened the box and revealed to the audience that Jesus wasn't there (they literally tore that thing apart, so it was pretty obvious he was gone).
Then, when everyone was clapping, Jesus runs out in a white suit onto the stage and joins the other actors as they take their bow.
Genius? You bet.
But carrying around Jesus' corpse works, too.
Next, to torture ourselves, we're going to watch "Bye Bye Birdie" and "Oliver!". Should be fun.