I finished "Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment". I'd tried to read it last year after stealing it briefly from Scott, but got too weirded out and bored, a mere hundred pages from the end. I followed through this time.
It was pretty good. MAX KISSED FANG! You totally had to have seen it coming, tho, because he kept looking at her intently and crap, and then she was getting her butt kicked by Ari, and he's like, "GET OFF HER!" and fights for her honor and stuff. Awwwww... Fang sounds slightly dreamy. Officially in love with Fang. Eat dust, Murtagh. Hahahahahaha.
Only Max is kind of dumb [SPOILERS]because when she kills Ari, Jed's all, "YOU KILLED YOUR OWN BROTHER!" and she's like, "What does that mean? So confoozed..." Um, okaaaaay, if Ari is Jed's son, and he's your brother, then that means-
Dana Carvey/Pistachio Disguisey: Holy cannoli, you are my sister!
No, it means that Jed is your FATHER, Max.
Max: [Vader]NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO![/Vader][/SPOILERS]
Anyways. Enough about that.
The rest of this post I will make fun of the horribly written piece of purple trash "Pastabilities" by Todd Strasser.
I don't know why I thought the first one was amazing.
I just don't understand this book.
I mean, if your parents say you're all moving to Italy, wouldn't you be excited? Here are the kids reactions:
Samara: Moving there would be so COOL! Italy is awesome! They really know about style there.
Chance: I guess it'll be okay. Soccer's pretty big over there.
Robby: I don't want to go. I like it here. This is where my friends are. (Typico...)
Oh, and I saved the best for last.
Kit: Well, to be really honest, I think I'd be happier staying here in Soundview Manor. But I guess I should try to be more open-minded and say that I'd give it a chance.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? SHE'S 14!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOBODY IS MATURE AT 14! Suck-up...
I keep picturing Chance shirtless. It just seems right. Not to be a perv or anything. Oh, and when he goes out of the house, he's wearing a wifebeater.
Oh, Chance is the master rap artist there.
Chance's Raps
Rap #1: I like the words and what they say/It reminds me of poetry in a way/The music's mad, but the beat is cool/And it sure beats studying for school.
Rap #2: There are a lot of babes in the world/Makes it hard to decide on just on girl/You may think you've found the girl of your dreams/But she's not as great as she first seems/The only answer is you have to hang loose/It sure beats hanging at the end of a noose.
I'm seeing a pattern here.
Rap #3: (I'll start this off with dialogue, so you can see how wonderfully Italians are portrayed in this book)
Gang member: Hey, you!
Chance: Say whaaaaaaaaaaaat? (I'm exaggerating, but I'm sure he said it with more than one A.)
Gang member: You are the pest!
Chance: But I'm the best pest/the pest with zest/a better pest than the rest!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! It's killing me softly.
Samara is a little whore. She's all, "Waah." If I were Kit, I would beat her to death with Italian leather boots. She just makes me VERY ANGRY.
Awwwww, Kit fell in love with Rafael, who speaks crap English. "I can relate to that." "Eh, relate? I-a no-a understand-a." Grr. And there's this whole epic love affair over the course of 5 days. Hm. Sounds ROMANTIC. And the parents are encouraging it. And Kit is convinced he'll wait for her when she moves back home. Psyche.
Also, Jessica (Chance's stalker) brings this creepy article about Italian men being great lovers and there's a picture of a shirtless Italian guy. Eh? And Kit reads it behind locked doors. Kit? Looking at Italian porn? Who would've thought?
I want to find a picture of Fang. Only I'm kidn of hungry. That will have to wait.
I heart Fang. I guess Murtagh's month is up. Wow, Orlando Bloom is a genius.
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