More critical comments and laughable moments in our favorite Jewish film

OMGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ there were SO MANY THINGS I FORGOT TO ADD LAST NIGHT!!! Most are about Haman. Whatever. Let us begin.

1. Um, okay... "6 Esther said, "The adversary and enemy is this vile Haman."
Then Haman was terrified before the king and queen. 7 The king got up in a rage, left his wine and went out into the palace garden. But Haman, realizing that the king had already decided his fate, stayed behind to beg Queen Esther for his life."
Yeah, he was BEGGING all scaredy like. Not in this movie. Esther was all ashamed because the king didn't see her Jewish stars (more on that later) so Haman all comes over and starts breathing creepily in her ear. "Sssssssssssssspare meeeeeeeee, ooooh, sssssssssspare meeeeeeeeee," for like five minutes. ??????

2. Then he tries to strangle her. Yeah, that sounds terrified.

3. But then the king comes back and goes all Aragorn on him.

4. And has him hanged by the eunuchs.

5. hehehehehe.

6. Okay, Esther has this necklace that puts the Star of David all over the walls when held to the light.

7. It's kind of like that patch that the Jews had to war in WW2.

8. Haman hates Jews, right?

9. So they're in the library and he holds a torch to her neck because he's leaning down to pick up her scrolls. And THE STARS ARE EVERYWHERE, mostly on his face.

10. And yet he doesn't notice them at all???

11. And later in the dinner scene, she's all, "Can't you see them? Can't you see the stars?" and Nathan and I were like, "WTH????????"

12. The king could see those stars. That's what made him come back. *sniff*

13. OMG, BEST SCENE IN THE WHOLE MOVIE: Haman hates Jews, so he says they should seize the Jews' property to fund the war, and the king of Africa or whatever is all, "And you think they'll let us take it without a fight?" and Haman goes, "No, we must kill them all. Every last one." AND HE WAS DEAD SERIOUS! :O It was so funny, I almost choked on my Doritos.

14. I'm not an Anti-Semitic, whatever you might think.

15. Haman was really short. Short legs...

Lol, I didn't watch all of it, but I got to see my favorite "Spy Kids 3D" scene.
Elijah Woods: Cake...