The Saxons are coming!!!

I finished "The Three Damosels" and it pretty much taught me everything I need to know about life.

1. If you're forced to marry a creepy old man, he won't take advantage of you.

2. A good way to test your relationship with your man is to disguise yourself as a hag and nurse him back to health.

3. If you and are your true love are slain, an old man is likely to come by and bring you back to life.

4. Life is so much easier if you're pretty, but it's also less exciting.

5. Revenge is never worth it; also, beheading a rapist is not as satisfying as it seems.

6. Finding the Holy Grail is surprisingly easy.

7. Never let an old man take your Holy Wafers.

8. It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. (I still think that's a load of bull.)

9. Never change clothes in an emergency situation.

10. When an old dead king says he'll come again, he's probably just being metaphorical.

11. Dragons are really easy to kill with four people and some sticks.

12. Being joined together by a dead guy is the equivalent of being married by a priest.

13. When you think you've won the battle, you're probably wrong.

14. Ugly guys make the best partners, because it's what's on the inside that counts...except during battle, these guys are more susceptible to massive (and often fatal) head wounds. No one quite knows why.

15. Women are just as cool as men.
Which is basically the most important rule of all.