Do YOU have a date to Homecoming?

AAaaaaaaaargh. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH. Thanks a whole lot, Mrs. Lutz. I was having a REALLY GOOD DAY. No, all my dreams did not come true, but I was having a pretty hilarious time with all my friends and teachers, learning interesting things about Shakespeare, whores, and Al Gore.
Then you decided to ruin it for me.
Thank you SOOOOOOOOOO much.
I'm sure she meant to be nice and all. She just wanted to give us some guidelines about how not to screw up the Freshmen for your girlfriend or whatever.
But come on.
It just made the dateless feel like total crap.
Because even though she stressed how much more fun it would be if you went with a group, she definitely had fun mentioning all the things you could not do without a date.
And, okay, you could do them, but you would look like a loser.
Buying yourself a corsage? Loser.
Taking yourself out to dinner? Pitiful.
Taking a picture by yourself? Why don't you go slit your wrists, you stupid emo kid?
And the dance itself is so lame. Why is everyone making such a big deal out of it? "A Night in Paris"? Are you kidding me?
And pictures are $25!!!!! $25 for a lame picture of you in an ugly dress with a guy in a tuxedo who so obviously doesn't want to be there, and after you buy it, you'll probably never look at it again.
And while I'm trying to convince myself it's just a STUPID junior high dance, Mrs. Lutz did a pretty good job in making me feel like an insignificant dateless loser.
Who will NOT look good in her freshmen dress.
So thank you.
I'm going to go eat some dinner, ignore others, do math homework, and come back hopefully when I'm in a better mood.
But I have decided I'm DEFINITELY not going to freshmen.