RIP OFF YOUR SHIRT! DO IT NOW!!!!!

OMG GARRETT HELUND IS EXACTLY 22!!!!!! Okay, not exactly. BUT HE'S 22. I WAS JUST JOKING!!!!
Agh.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA "Eragon" is a great movie.
Oh. I didn't know it wasn't supposed to be a comedy.
*silently trying not to laugh*
*snicker* BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
I mean, don't get me wrong, I love going to the movies. I mean, come on, there's:
1. Previews
2. Popcorn
3. Candy
4. Soda
5. Comfy seats (sometimes)
6. Two hours of cinematic delight (no matter HOW dumb the movie is, you can laugh it up with your friend(s)/date/spouse/family/imaginary friend/dog/annoyed person sitting next to you.)
Aaaaah, how I love the theater.
But anyways.
HEHEHE okay I'll stop. At first, it kind of made me mad, because even tho Paolini's "Eragon" novel is no literary sensation (he wrote it when he was 14...that doesn't make it GOOD) and not really worth anyone's time (okay, not true, it's a pretty good fantasy attempt, but there are MUCH better authors. No, I was not about to J. K. Rowling as one of them, stop glaring at me.), but the least the scriptwriters could've done was STAY TRUE TO THE BOOK. They cut out some VERY important characters, such as Katrina (she doesn't do squat, but she's the whole reason Rorin leaves and comes back and such) and Angela (okay, yeah, there was that stupid Joss Stone cameo, but it SUCKED, and she was only in one scene. Joss Stone might have soul, but she don't got any acting skills.), and just...STUFF. The plot was all messed up, and it was just...NOT COOL, OKAY. NOT COOL AT ALL.
The only good actors were Jeremy Irons (Brom, AAAAND one of my favorite actors. Kind of. I like "Lion King". A lot. And he was a very good Scar.), Rachel Weisz (Saphira: she has a really good voice and did Saphira perfectly), and Garrett Hedlund (HOT: he portrayed the angst-ridden Murtagh very well. "I SUGGEST YOU LEAVE QUICKLY!" "Anything you say... *sighs dreamily*")
But there were funny parts. "I WON'T LET YOU DIE. I NEED YOU." "No, Eragon, I've always needed you. You turned my life around." Me: *snicker* "*really flat voice* I suffer without my stone. Don't prolong my suffering." Me: *guffawing* "I will wait for tomorrow." Me: *ROFL!!!*
I think the parts that most angered me were Joss Stone as a CRAPPY ANGELA and the Razac. WTH? They were ninjas covered in bugs. HELLO? THESE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY! And then a good portion of the book was based on Eragon's obsession with these creatures and his longing for their blood. Not so in the movie. The Razac are killed in like two minutes by Brom, who was supposed to DIE in that part! And the Urgals? The director casted a bunch of big fat guys and painted stripes on their face. OMGEEZ WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? AAAAGH I HATE YOU ALL.
The most unfair part: They discover Murtagh's identity (rather quickly, and just by looking at him), AND HE DOESN'T TAKE HIS SHIRT OFF!!! Okay, I read the book, and he just RIPS that baby off. But there wasn't a big scar or anything. He just pulled it up a little and there's a baby scar and a little bit of abs. he actually wasn't that buff. And somehow Ed Speleers had a six pack? AND HE GOT SHOWN BATHING!!! WHAT ABOUT MURTAGH??? AAAARGH!
Meep. Snorg. That was good Diet Coke. I want another cheeseburger.