This would've made for a much better movie. Maybe funnier. I don't know.
Cast:
Eragon: William Moseley (If he could do Peter, he can do Eragon.)
Brom: Jeremy Irons (better cast = better performance. The man stays.)
Arya: Liv Tyler (She played an elf once, she can do it again.)
Durza: Chrisopher Lloyd (much creepier...gives off a true child molester vibe.)
Galbatorix: Uh...Liam Neeson? Christopher Lee? I KNOW! Ian Mcdiarmid! Or the ORIGINAL EMPEROR...who's the same guy...dang.
Murtagh: Garrett Hedlund (perfect in every way...JUST LIKE MARY POPPINS!)
Uncle Garrow: Bruce Boxleitner (THAT GUY FROM YOUNG BLADES! BEST PAX SHOW EVER!)
Roran: Mark Hildreth (THAT OTHER GUY FROM YOUNG BLADES! And they're small parts, so their HORRIBLE ACTING DOESN'T MATTER!)
King Hrothgar: Edward Asner (He was a wonderful Santa...) or Burl Ives? (aww, he's dead. Never mind.)
Ajihad: MR. T!!!!!
Saphira: Rachel Weisz (She stays too)
Horst: Some big fat guy who's jolly and stern???
Sloan: Some anorexic old guy.
Angela: EMMA THOMPSON! MWAHAHAHA!
Nasuada: ANYONE BUT RAVEN! Um...Jennifer Hudson. Yeah. She could've sung Ajihad's mourning song.
Yeah. That's pretty much it. Read it and weep.
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