Jessica Seinfeld lied to me

I bought all the stupid ingredients for her stupid cupcakes, mixed them all together, greased the pans, timed the oven, etc.
And what do I get?
A bunch of bland muffinlike objects covered in a nasty frosting, and if I were a kid, I definitely would NOT have been fooled by these imposters. Maybe Jessica's kids were, but they're sugar deprived and eat their vegetables like little angels and have probably never eaten a Twinkie in their life. Freaks.
Ha, we went to the library yesterday and I found a book called, "It's not the Stork!" which taught your children the TRUTH about where babies come from. In it were pictures of little boys and girls without pants on looking down at their boy/girl parts, fetuses, and *GASP* A NAKED MAN AND WOMAN HUGGING IN BED! AND YOU KNOW WHAT HUGGING LEADS TO!!! I thought the book handled the sex bit pretty well, because you can't just tell a 7-year-old what goes on in the bedroom, but come on: they explained sex as what happens when a man and a woman get too close. Well, they were a little more specific than that (so specific my mom forbid me to say it to ANYONE), but if I were a little kid, I'd still be confused. They followed up that paragraph with another one saying that you were too young to learn about sex anyway. Oh, okay then.
Bah, Sunday School. It's like sitting in church for another whole hour. The pastor's cool and everything, but honestly? I'd rather be at home. I still haven't gone to regular youth group, but if it's like Sunday School, I might just shoot myself. At least I have a chance to go this week, because it's a home game, so my mom doesn't have to drive 1000 miles to pick me up from Sedgwick or whatever.
It's perfect track weather outside. I wish track season started now, because when it does start, it'll be back to cold and rain and wet grass. I hate Washington.
And groundhogs, come to think of it.