Saturday, January 31, 2009

Bestiality abounds

"Barbie and the Magic of the Pegasus": NOT okay.
That and "The Island Princess" were in the dollar bin at the rummage sale, so I bought both.
Aaaah. That movie was not kid appropriate.
The villain was a crazy polygamist!!
He'd been married three times!!
And he was an abusive husband!!
And he was so insecure that he made his wives ugly so he could boss them around and prey on their insecurities.
Great message for little girls, right?
And the little polar bear kept randomly dry-humping people, and it was supposed to be "cute".
NOT OKAY.
And the morals of the story: Take everything literally. Your parents will always love you. Abusive husbands are really insecure, balding men. Never trust a British accent. If a horse claims to be your sister, don't fight it; go with the flow.
Ugh, so frustrated with Barnes&Noble.
I had $30 worth of Barnes&Noble gift cards to spend, so my mom and I went over to check it out.
And, believe it or not, they were having a sale on DVDs! Buy 2, get 1 free! It seemed too good to be true!
Right.
They failed to mention that their DVDs are ridiculously overpriced, so you actually buying not only 1, but 2 DVDs would be pretty much impossible.
"As You Like it"? $26!!!!!
!!!!!!!!
I could find the exact same movie at Walmart for $15!!!!
"Enchanted"?? $20!!!!!
"Rent"? Not in stock.
AAaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
The final straw was accidentally setting off the alarm by carrying unbought books into the music section.
I just about started crying, but I opted for a screaming fit instead.
Right. A screaming fit. In the middle of Barnes & Noble.
I think I freaked the guy out. He kept saying, "It's okay! Chill out! Don't worry! It's going to be okay!"
But I bought 2 books I'm actually pretty excited about, so all's well that ends well?
The snooty book customers think otherwise.
Whatever. Get back to your overpriced lattes, suckers.

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