Just like...blah.

It's been a weird day.
I found out my friend's dad died last week.
I haven't seen her in a while, and we all knew it was going to happen, but I just found out about it this morning.
But from what I hear, she seems fine.
Well, she's SAD.
But it's not as though her dad just died.
And I know it's a front, and I haven't exactly "been there" for her through all this, but she's sort of closed herself off from everyone except for a select few.
So she's sad, it sucks, but there's nothing I can do about it.
My dad told me that when a guy likes a girl, he often has a backup.
I mean, if you set your sights on one girl alone and she rejects you, well, that would hurt.
So always have a Plan B!
It sounds sort of terrible, but it struck me as funny when he said it.
I don't know. I suppose it might have crushed me a while ago.
It explains some things.
But I don't feel like complaining about how "jacked up" boy culture is.
Girls are just as bad, something Women's Studies does a very good job of pointing out, though that's not Mrs. Taylor's objective.
So I'm gonna get my life together in the mean time.
Focus on the stuff that's actually important.
According to Matthew 6:25-34, everything God has planned will happen when he wants it to, when I seek first his kingdom.
I was thinking on the bus ride home about how weird it is that so many seniors will be leaving youth group at the end of the year, after I JUST go to know them.
Then it will be time for me, and then COLLEGE.
And WSU seems too isolated, but UW and OC are not places I could EVER see myself, and, though I love Colorado, every time I think of leaving home I start to puke.
It turned into this huge worryfest, but my mom managed to talk me through it.
Because God HAS A PLAN FOR ME, one to give me a hope and a future.
And what he has is SO MUCH BETTER than anything I could ever dream of.
And he'll put me at the best possible college. But we're not at that part of the journey yet. I've still got 2 years. And they'll be good ones.

Multitasking is not allowed.

Yeah, thanks.
I probably shouldn't complain about my internet when I'm making it more difficult by having 6 windows open at a time. Ha HA!
Mr. Kovacs always said it was impossible to multitask, because you can't have your full attention on more than one thing at once, so you're just flipping back and forth between projects while subconciously doing others.
And he didn't reccomend it, because you ended up doing a sloppy job on everything.
But who cares?
Anyway, he was supposed to teach me math, not life lessons.
And he taught math rather well.
And I was surprised to find he was an Anti-Gore conservative.
Not to mention a Christian! Cool!
So is another math teacher at Oly, but I haven't had him yet...and I don't want him. :P
My mom and I had a really good talk about stuff. William's at Great Wolf Lodge with a friend and Dad's in THE ZONE, so he doesn't feel like socializing.
In fact, he's MULTITASKING by listening to a recording of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" while painting William's room a girly shade of red.
William doesn't know yet.
But my mom read an article in Christianity Today that made a case for early marriage.
Because your bodies are ready to make babies and most guys are just going to go out and bang someone anyway.
Um...okay?
And then the author said stuff that sort of contradicted his argument.
Like, there's a shortage of young Christian men.
....
All right, but doesn't that mean you should wait.
No, his point was you need to snatch one up before another girl gets him.
Oh. Well, that's comforting. No pressure.
And he didn't hold guys to any standard whatsoever.
Cuz, you know, guys need to get it out SOMEhow.
But that's not really fair.
If a guy messes up ("I just couldn't help it!"): Aw, shucks. Well, at least you tried. We know how HARD it was for you.
If a girl messes up ("I just couldn't help it!"): What do you MEAN you couldn't help it? You should have prayed! You obviously don't trust God enough! Harlot!
My dad gets mad whenever I say this because he thinks I'm taking a feminist approach and am being unfair to young men, because it's harder for them.
Yeah. And it is harder.
But it's also true that a young Christian man "made a mistake", but a young Christian girl will be forgiven, but can never get her virginity back.
I don't know. There's more emphasis put on a girl's virginity and how vastly important it is.
That word isn't used as much around guys. The focus is just "staying pure" in general.
It might not sound like a big difference, but it is.
Argh, and the stupid Catholic argument against birth control still drives me insane!
Onan spilled his semen because he was selfish and knew the kid he fathered wouldn't be considered his; it would be his brother's kid.
It's not as if he was like, "Oh, well, I don't think I'm financially ready to have a child! And my career's just taking off, and I don't feel like staying home and raising kids, not to mention changing diapers."
And how Catholics think birth control is "evil" and "sinning", but other Christians look down on it, because the couple using it "obviously doesn't trust God enough NOT to give him a child". "He's in charge of your fertility, isn't he? Why can't you trust that he WON'T give you a kid?"
That's a fairly valid point, but it's also like saying, "You have cancer and you're STILL taking chemo? Don't you trust that God will heal you without all that?"
Why WOULDN'T you take efforts to heal yourself??
And you wouldn't want to take a chance if you're UNABLE to care for this child, like, gee, struggling financially? Or already have A BILLION KIDS?
And some couples feel convicted, that God has planned for them to have a *cough* LARGE number of children.
But that's not the case for everyone.
Argh. It seems like I can't post anymore without it becoming a crazy emotional rant of some kind about "beliefs" and "what it means to be American"...
...or something to that degree.
I think.
I need to get it out! Otherwise, my brain will explode!
Today was...a REALLY good day.
Except for it suddenly getting really hot in the little kid's room. And it was pretty stifling in the gym.
But I was in a strangely good mood today. Like...giddy and bubbly. Rather strange.
Anyway, we went down to Kidstuf and sang songs (which the kids hated and refused to dance to while all the teens dance maniacally) and explained what happened on the trip.
It seemed a TAD pointless (most of them were in 1st grade and none of them were listening...), but it was fun.
Then lunch, with the sun shining, then girl talk, and such.
I don't know. Good day.
Okay, there's more: another rant coming up.
My mom and I were still on the subject of marriage when we got onto compatibility, and it turns out COMPATIBIILITY DOESN'T MATTER.
Because, while it might help, even a relationship between two "soul mates" won't work if they're not willing to put in the effort.
Ha, like Pastor Barry. "Love isn't a feeling. It's hard work!"
And relationships between "incompatible" couples end up turning into amazing, loving marriages.
Like, gee...my parents? Exact opposites.
Oh, and my grandparents.
Which sort of debunks the theory that my "soulmate" is an ENFJ.
Oh well.
Which means I'll end up marrying an ESTJ.
YES!!!
Awwwww......this quote is sort of adorable.
Or possibly the cutest thing I've heard in a long time.
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." -Dr. Seuss

Sunday morning fun

My mom and dad had to teach the 4 and 5 year-old Sunday school today.
Apparently, it wasn't a positive experience.
My mom is FREAKING OUT. She has a problem with one of the other teachers, who thinks little kids should have structure and discipline.
Well, yeah. To a point. But little kids don't do well with crazy amounts of structure. They rebel.
And she also has a different opinion than I do of chaos and disorder.
A FEW THINGS weren't put in their proper place, but they weren't cluttering up the room, and it looked FINE, like a nursery/Sunday School room is supposed to look.
But a few things out of place for her is disorder and chaos.
Whatever. I'm just a slob.
And she's lived with the ultimate neat freak for 20 years.
But still.
Anyway.
Primetime was interesting.
It's weird. Coming back from Stateside, I made all these "connections" and now I really feel like a part of the youth group.
And, surprisingly enough, I ENJOY Primetime now!
I don't know about Thrive, which was always the bane of my existence, since it hasn't been going on for a while, but Primetime is great.
Sort of.
All these "connections" and new friendships?
Unfortunately, we're all hiding out back in our little groups.
Ahem, cliques.
But I've got one, too.
And it's not like they're all being rude on purpose, and I'm not exactly initiating anything.
And some people are making an effort, which is...really nice.
But it's how the youth group has always been, and that's what I was always complaining about before.
It just seems sad that I spend 10 days with these people and get to know some of them really well, and want to CONTINUE to get to know them, but how can I if we don't really cross paths even when we go to the same church?
There's always FACEBOOK. But really. A little face to face time would be nice.
I just don't want to be stuck in the same lonely group I'm in now. I love my friends, but not all of them want to branch out.
Other than that...
Good sermon, Ben.
He said something along the lines of our feelings might trust God or think he's faithful, but we should always believe that he's faithful and loves us. Our emotions will follow.
I love how Ben always acknowledges "feelings", and how we're not abnormal for having them. They just HAPPEN. And I'm not even talking about ROMANTIC feelings, though he mentions those quite a bit (he thinks those are bull, though).
Unlike some T pastors I might mention.
ENFPs and INFPs of the world UNITE!
I'm going to join the junior group in Thrive again this year, since I actually belong there this time.
Partly because I finally have friends of my own that aren't kindly older kids...but mostly because Bess is gone.
Yes, I'll say it. She's gone. And I'm GLAD.
I know part of my deal with the youth group was my fault, since I made sure I didn't fit in.
But she made me feel like I didn't fit in. And she continued to do it the entire time I was there.
And her job is to make people feel welcome. Right. Thanks. You're an inspiration.
My brother's leaving tomorrow. :/ And I won't get to see him a lot, even at holidays.
He's been here for the entire summer and I was getting used to having him back.
But I guess we're replacing him?
We might be getting a 16-year-old Vietnamese exchange student.
She'll be going to the college, though, so I won't see her at school.
I'm a little bit like, "Crap." Because every time we had Japanese students, even for just three days, it took me forever to get to know them and I withdrew and they withdrew even more because they were all so SHY and POLITE, so that could prove difficult.
But it's a GIRL who'll be living with us long time, and if it's a good fit...who knows? It could be like the sister I never had.
Could be.
Could be.
Argh.
I need some depressing French music.
I AM WARNING YOU JAVERT! I'M A STRONGER MAN BY FAR! THERE IS POWER IN ME YET, MY RACE IS NOT YET RUN!
Fun times.
Playmobil soap opera? Tempting, tempting.
Myeah...not a bunch of bad ideas...LET'S DO IT!

Jesus sure looks nice in that Superman T-shirt

Crap. "Les Miserables" is at the library.
All 1438 pages of it.
Aaargh.
I don't want to read that many pages!
I have 8 other series to read this summer!
And I could barely focus while reading LOTR, what with all the fighting and recapping.
The French Revolution is going to be even worse!
I read the abridged version. That should count for something.
William and I watched "Godspell" last night.
An article in A&E stated that there are two kinds of people: Godspell people and Jesus Christ Superstar people.
Not having seen Jesus Christ Superstar, I wouldn't know.
But I'm not really that into Godspell either.
It was pretty trippy.
People follow the magical horn of John/Judas the Baptist/Iscariot, who pops in out and out of windows, ballet dances, and libraries for some odd reason.
Then they all jump into the fountain and dance to "Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord".
Then Jesus appears wearing nothing but blue boxers. He wants to get washed up!
After being baptized by John, he pops out of the fountain WEARING CLOTHES!
That part threw me a little, and I stared at the TV with my mouth open for five minutes afterward.
Then they went on to act out parables in strange, unorthodox ways.
Then again, Jesus himself was pretty unorthodox in his day.
But that didn't make the movie any less weird.
The music was great. Alas, alas, you lawyers and Pharisees! "Day by Day" was somewhat ruined for me by the fact that Robin sang like a man.
I really couldn't understand how tying a man's arms to a chainlink fence while he stands on a bucket could ever be fatal. I know that wasn't really the point, but still.
And then it was as if the director ALSO missed the entire point of Jesus' death: he DIDN'T rise from the dead!
And, yeah, whoever wrote the play obviously didn't believe Jesus had, didn't believe he was the Son of God, etc.
But still. Why write a play about Jesus if you leave out one of the most important parts?
And yes, I can think of reasons why.
But it made the ending somewhat of a bummer.
His disciples decide to carry his dead body around town, while they sing merrily.
Which could be interpreted as joy because they know Jesus did good things and now it was their turn to share the good news with other people.
But if Jesus never rose...what good news would they have to share?
I also found it weird that Jesus died but Judas lived.
The other disciples didn't seem mad at all that Judas betrayed and essentially killed their Rabbi.
In the Bible? He killed himself, because he felt so guilty, and maybe (this is speculation) he knew that the other disciples wouldn't be able to forgive him.
In fact, they might even have killed him.
So he beat them to it.
Which makes me sad because he screwed up big time, but he was sorry afterwards.
Yeah, that sounds lame, but it wasn't just, "Oh dear, I regret that decision." His attitude was, "How can I live with myself after what I've done? What a terrible decision!"
So he bought a field and possibly hanged himself. There's a verse that talks about his blood and guts flying everywhere, which didn't sound like a hanging. :O Maybe the other disciples got him after all.
When the high school did "Godspell" last fall, they changed the ending and it was pretty epic. Shafer had commented that the ending seemed kind of hopeless and wanted to include the Resurrection into the script. So, in the play, Judas and another disciple placed Jesus' body in a box. While they were singing "Long Live God", they opened the box and revealed to the audience that Jesus wasn't there (they literally tore that thing apart, so it was pretty obvious he was gone).
Then, when everyone was clapping, Jesus runs out in a white suit onto the stage and joins the other actors as they take their bow.
Genius? You bet.
But carrying around Jesus' corpse works, too.
Next, to torture ourselves, we're going to watch "Bye Bye Birdie" and "Oliver!". Should be fun.

ESTP? That's a lie!

Your Birthday's Wisdom is Rebirth

You believe the beauty of life is that anyone can be reborn at anytime. The world is full of fresh starts, and you take one whenever it comes your way. You are constantly evolving and changing. And to you, that's a beautiful thing. You aren't the person you used to be... you're so much better now!

What's Your Birthday's Wisdom?

STRENGTHS FINDER!! FIND YOUR STRENGTHS!

My mom bought "Strengths Finder 2.0" and I just took the test.
My top 5 strengths are:
1. Adaptability
2. Empathy
3. Intellection
4. Connectedness
5. Developer
I was sort of skeptical of the first one, but it actually seems to fit.
Connectedness and Developer...not so much.
Some of the descriptions fit, but they make me sound like Locke on "Lost".
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!!!!
And Developers sound like coaches. Like Mr. Freeman. Like Coach Allen.
But everything is scarily accurate.
Some of the phrases jumped out at me, and I was like, "THAT'S ME!"
Sort of like that ice-breaker game they have you play at camp.
Stuff has been happening.
Yes. Stuff. Nothing important, hence the informative noun and lack of adjectives.
Chris read the poem from "10 Things I Hate About You" a few days ago for his poetry presentation. It was genius. I did Classic Crime's "Headlights" and it didn't go over so well, so I was jealous.
Janessa's a big sister...four months early. But the baby's doing okay.
Charlie, Jake, and I were in the back seat of Toni's car, and Jake kept flashing me and Charlie was going to scream.
>:( They won't let me play with them anymore.
I'm sort of pumped for the team meeting this Sunday. Kristine and I are going to hang out beforehand, and it's fun having my closest friends there when we talk about VBS. None of them are in my group, but the people in my group are pretty cool and we get along all right...so far, anyway. And there are other people that are actually really awesome that I wish I'd hung out with before, so I'm excited to get to know them.
How very Pollyanna.
She got to eat a 6-layer cake.
Whenever I think of that movie, I think of the cakes.
And nothing else.
Mr. Basaillon shaved!!!!
He looks completely different. Before he looked like a "Brian" and now he looks like a "Brandon".
And the name "Keith" reminds me of omelettes.
But it reminds Q of zebras.
And Darle thinks we're both insane.
All the Blogthings I've missed!!! Raaaaah!
The Apostle Paul was an INTJ.
And Peter was either an ENFP or and ENFJ.
And they hated each other.
It's fun reading the letters Paul wrote...
...until he gets all logical and is like, "You were dead to the law, THEREFORE..."
It's like, "That's nice, Paul. But get back to the important stuff."
And then he gets all huffy and I have to hang out with Peter for a little while.

What a dreadful prospect

What has poor Armand done to be condemnded to matrimony?
Why did the Day of Silence T-shirts have to be yellow?
The Day of Silence itself was good.
I didn't talk until lunch. And I sort of stopped being silent during 5th period.
But I got the point across. Sort of.
It was so stupid how many people were like, "I talked! I can't stay silent again all day! I'm such a failure!"
They could have always been, "Oh darn. Well, here I go again." There's no rule that says if you break the protest, you can't take part in it again. It's pretty hard to do anyway, keeping completely silent all day long.
Apparently some people got a lot of crap for doing it. I didn't get any, except for my math teacher jokingly saying he couldn't hear me when I gave the answers on my hands.
But I didn't get any homophobic comments, like a couple people did.
One girl got called a fag, which doesn't even make sense.
I met a couple of bisexuals who were like, "Aagh, I hate super religious people who make rude comments! It's not like two men can't be happy."
But he apologized when I was like, "Well...I'm a Christian."
Even though what he's saying is technically true.
But I mentioned what the Bible does say about man + man = happiness.
Because, even though the Bible thumpers aren't exactly nice about the Day of Silence, they're right when they say it's wrong, according to the Bible.
But then we talked about loving your neighbor and such.
And he'd never heard that part before.
Hmmm....
I wasn't the only Christian at the party, or the only one participating, which was nice.
A bunch of my Christian friends were either like, "I tolerate homosexuality, but I can't condone it," so they didn't participate.
And a couple were like, "No one should ever be made to feel worthless. I'm doing this for all people being bullied."
And a couple were like, "I feel REALLY strongly about this, so I'm going to participate."
We ended the day with a delicious cake Ed made, homemade frosting and everything.
And that was that.
"Hello Dolly" is a great movie and all, but I had forgotten how long it is.
Two hours of singing and ten minute dance sequences.
At least there wasn't any trippy ballet interludes with Gene Kelly and Cyd Charisse, or worse: Jud, Laurey, and Curly.
Not that those aren't loads of fun, or anything.
Ew, my dad played Jud in high school. How gross is that?
Pre-nose job Barbra Streisand is somewhat of a babe.
"Out There" reminds me so much of "Wall-E". William and I were singing along, and my dad kept asking, "How do you know this?"
Please. I only watched this movie five times in first grade.
Ew, Walter Matthau is so lame. And sort of tone deaf. And they had no chemistry. She was much too sparkly and fabulous for him.
Tommy Tune is ginormous!!!!
Speaking of music, I got out "Letters to the President" and started listening to it again.
Oh, the memories.
And those fantastic summers where we went to concerts all the time and screamed the lyrics to "Sadie Hawkins Dance".
That might have just been one summer.
And probably not that fantastic.
But the nostalgia made me a little nauseous.

Baby, we're not buying

It seems that just when I think everything is good and I've got it all figured out, Ben points out something I've done wrong.
Not that he means to.
But he often knows what he's talking about...more so than I do.
And apparently I can't share my feelings with anyone without crying.
Woo, estrogen!!
No wonder my dad freaks out at me a lot.
Yeah.
"So Close" by John McLaughlin is my favorite song right now. It's adorable...and driving me crazy.
My favorite part of "Enchanted" is when Patrick Dempsey starts singing that song to Amy Adams, and she starts crying.
And then Idina Menzel and James Marsden cut in.
The sermon was so good today. It was about Hannah and her problems conceiving, and how much Elkanah loved her.
And Pastor Barry actually made it possible for us to feel sorry for the other wife, who was so mean to Hannah.
I mean, you would be mean to her, too, if your husband didn't love you.
Not to excuse it, or anything.
And then Hannah's desire for a son was a God-given desire...but he'd closed her wound and was waiting for his timing.
Then, when she gave up her first born, he blessed her 5 times over, with 5 more kids she hadn't even expected.
The people behind me had a 4-year-old daughter and they started crying.
And then they sang some really good songs. I love Sundays.

Quit trashing my book

So sayeth the Lord.
Stop having kids, Angelina Jolie!
Poor Brad. 6 kids and another on the way? No wonder they're not married.
Lisa Miller. Yes, it DOES mention lesbian sex in the Bible.
And it specifically states that marriage should between "man and woman".
Just because Abraham and Jacob had multiple wives doesn't mean it was okay.
Many figures in the Bible were FAR from perfect (*cough cough* David *cough cough*). He had an extra-marital affair and we KNOW that's not right. Polygamy was a cultural thing, not a biblical thing.
And of COURSE Jesus would be reaching out to lesbians and gays. He loved EVERYONE and even hung out with tax-collectors and prostitutes, who were seen as "unclean".
But just because he LOVED them didn't mean he AGREED with their lifestyle.
So just because Jesus was a nice person and people in the Bible doesn't mean you have a good pro-gay marriage argument.
2.5%!!! Woo, we're rare!
Black, blue, and silver.
Mypersonality.info is pretty intense. Kind of cool.
Just like Peter Jackson.

The Epic of Gilgamesh

Ooooooooooh. I know I failed that history test. I don't think anybody studied, or even read the chapter.
At least Mr. Hurd gave us freebies.
Tyler looks surprisingly good with his head shaved. And the seedlings are really soft.
It's kind of like he's always had a shaved head.
Though he does sort of look like a skinhead.
Ugh, people who think they're utterly superior bug me.
I guess that's why I won't be going to UW.
It's just annoying when my friends start acting that way.
And I know I act that way about some things.
I just never knew how annoying it could be.
Youth group SUCKS. It's like everytime I go is some new drama.
So I'm minding my own business and I get hit in the face with a ball, hitting me square in the nose and popping both lenses out of my glasses.
Nice, guys. Real nice.
So I start crying and Sierra had to fix my glasses and some guy (whose name I never learned) got me some ice.
That set the stage for a wonderful evening.
And my nose still hurts. At first, my mom told me it wasn't broken, but now she's saying it might be.
Ugh. All I know is it's even larger than normal.
My dad was listening to a pastor on the radio talk about homosexuality, and he supposedly "drove his point home" by stating, "Homosexuality was a non-issue until the Bible came out."
And that was supposedly a REALLY good point that showed how wrong homosexuality really is.
?????
Seriously?? If I were a non-Christian, that would just convince me that the Bible is stupid and homophobic and God is screwed up.
I think my dad wants grandchildren. He snatches up every baby he sees.
Well, no, he doesn't, because that would be weird.
But when there's a baby at our house, he's like, "Baby! *scoop*" and holds it for 12 hours.
Matt was pregnant, but he gave birth and someone stepped on the baby. OUR baby.
Then he kept sucking on that stupid smoothie.
"Can I have some brown sugar Pop Tarts?"
"Cherry?"
"You're going to ruin your life! RUIN IT!"

Kookabura...gum...something like that...

It's days like these, when the rain won't stop, thunder and lightning are abundant, and my internet is slow, that I love Washington.
Note the sarcasm.
Driver's Ed is FINALLY over.
We had our final test today and I passed!!
Eh, I was pretty sure I would, because the test wasn't too hard, but it's good to know anyway.
Except I didn't have time to feel cocky and triumphant (which is good; I need to work on NOT feeling that way) because nearly everyone else failed.
.....
Oops.
My aunt visiting for a week. My dad picked her up at the airport and is on his way.
It's too bad, though, that it's raining so hard.
She lives in Florida and was just in San Diego, so a thunderstorm might be a bit of a shock.
Welcome to Washington, Lisa!!!
Uh-oh...how did this happen?

You Should Follow Islam

You believe that there is one true God and that it's your duty to submit to his will. Life may be trying, unfair, or painful here on earth. But you're waiting for the Paradise in the afterlife. Religion is the most important thing in your life, and you are fully devoted to God. You are willing to fast, pray often, and follow all of God's rules to make sure you have a place in heaven.

What Religion Should You Be?

Yeah, it's a monotheistic religion that believes in God and God alone, but that's where the similarities between Islam and Christianity end.
Well, not really, but I don't believe agree with Islamic beliefs.
Ah, and I was one question away from getting Christianity as my answer.
Don't judge me!!! (Ha, taking a leaf out of Pastor Ty's semi-ridiculous and confusing sermon)
Rather shocking news today. A girl from my former church got pregnant...on purpose.
I did NOT see this coming.
Not only was this completely random and out of the blue, but it sort of evoked feelings like, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??? WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON PURPOSE??? 'JUNO' WAS JUST A MOVIE!!!"
Seriously, WHY does watching "Juno" make someone want a baby??
She didn't even KEEP the baby!!
Yeah, yeah, Pastor Ty, don't judge.
Um, I read that passage in the Bible yesterday, and it TOTALLY cleared things up.
1 Corinthians 5:12-13
12 What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13 God will judge those outside. Expel the wicked man from among you.
Still, he did make a good point about not condemning anyone, because that is setting yourself up as God, but if it is someone who is KNOWINGLY and WILLFULLY sinning, you need to have a talk with them.
That sounded totally psycho-Christian, I know, but pregnancy??