Angry body language means she WANTS to be flirted with!

Yes, that what it means.
Not.
DO NOT TOUCH ME.
Argh. One of those days that kept flipflopping. There were really good moments, followed by really frustrating moments.
We had to give an oral book report today, where, following a brief overview of the book, we'd answer the questions he gave us.
Of course, not thinking clearly, I chose "Middlesex" by Jeffrey Eugenides.
I had, after all, spent four hours finishing it the night before, and, though not perfect, was a great book.
And, yes, it was about a hermaphrodite.
That was probably my first mistake.
But the book report went fine. Yeah, some people freaked out because a hermaphrodite has *gasp* a penis AND a vagina! And the oh-so-subtle guys in the back were making fun of me the entire time.
But my friends thought it was cool, albeit freakish, a couple people asked questions, and Mr. Rosendale had read the book before and didn't give me any crap, so that helped.
And I honestly didn't care what they thought anyway.
Okay, I sort of cared.
But, then again, if I'd REALLY cared, I would have done a different book.
When I was finished, however, one of my least favorite people commented loudly, either too stupid to remember that I was a few feet away (understandable, she is a cheerleader), or bitchy enough to say this (strongly, STRONGLY leaning towards the latter), made the remark that I must read books like this because they make me feel better about myself.
-_- And a girl who called herself my friend thought this was hilarious. She laughed. Which felt great.
And whenever people make comments like this, people are quick to assure you that that person is just JEALOUS, and obviously so insecure that she has to take it out on someone like you.
That doesn't erase what she said, however.
And I feel all mad and self-righteous, and, "Oh well, at least I know HOW to read," and stupid, smart-kid comebacks keep popping up in my head.
Because of course I can't think of anything better.
And even though I say all that, I don't mean it, which I find unfair. I've NEVER had to refer to the stupid popularity dichotomy and though cheerleaders do tend to be idiots, I don't bury myself in clothes from Hot Topic and emo music so I can make fun of their stupidity and conformity like some (I do that in regular clothes).
But when she said that, it put me in that "Us vs. Them" mindset, where I thought because she's popular she thinks she's entitled to look down on "us nerds".
I really thought that.
And, speaking of stereotypes, I AM a nerd. I rely way too much on my "brains" and look down on "stupid people" and am not always the nicest person to be around. So even though she said that thing about me, I say things about her (though not always outloud, or at least not PUBLIC), so the only reason I'm mad is because I'M jealous of HER.
Which isn't fair but is sort of true.
Aaagh it's so complicated, yet simple, and contradictory, and for these reasons I hate high school girls, but I find this really depressing because that makes me the angsty, unpopular emo chick instead of the nice, well-rounded, not-bitchy, interesting I'd like to be.
And the so-called "balance" between the two isn't a great mixture.
So all that crap I just typed means nothing. I just had to vent.
I did see "Up" yesterday, which made me cry, but was also fantastic. Pixar's best movie, and way better than anything Dreamworks has ever done.
But I'll focus on that when I'm done pouting.
For now, I'll just listen to music and/or Tyler telling me how overdramatic I'm being and how I took what she said completely out of context. Sounds like a fun afternoon.

The nature of...bubbly teenage girls that don't wear pink?

Today was sort of an off day. I've been in a perpetually bad mood. It started with me waking up too early because I thought there was jazz band, but forgot it was a Thursday. I did like seeing the slush outside, though. It snowed...AGAIN! It snowed on Tuesday, too, which was pretty much amazing. We got more snow than Seabeck! Bam!
Argh, it started with that stupid "Becoming Beka" book. You know I hate Christian fiction, and when I started reading, found it boring, and then found out it was Christian fiction, I should have just put it down. Even if it had been a normal book about depression and anger, it was badly written, I did NOT sympathize with Beka, and the Christian aspect just made things worse. It made non-Christians seems all the same: slutty, sarcastic alchoholics that have horrible relationships with everyone around them, and Christians seemed perfect. ??? That's not how it is, and I loved how they pointed that out towards the end of the book, but it was kind of like, "*cough cough* Hypocrite! *cough cough*" And I know that when people become Christians, they often say, "I'm a totally different person now." I know what that means, and I think it's cool, but non-Christian Beka and Christian Beka seemed like two totally different people. I know people change, and that God changes people, but it honestly seemed like the author got bored with delinquent Beka and wrote a new version of her. And Beka questioning other people's hearts and asking why they didn't wear "I love Jesus" T-shirts to school was considered a good thing???
Then I got fired up about a book my mom got on how pop culture stereotypes little girls and is stealing their childhood, but I'll only say a little on that: why is it that girls can't be all girly now? I realize the whole "prep" stereotype and that it comes down to either preppies or losers, but if my little girl was interested in clothes more so than sports and running in the dirt, WHY IS THAT BAD? It's not necessarily the media; EVERYONE'S DIFFERENT! And they kept harping on pink and how girly-girl's and femininity was bad and sporty girls are good. Stereotype much? I also sort of took it personally. I like shopping and boys, and they called me a slut. Hello? I don't wear pink. Thanks.
Orange Tootsie Pops are therapeutic, I think.
Agh, it's like I've been getting mad at everything lately, AND IT'S NOT PMS!!! You can feel like crap and be in a bad mood and NOT HAVE IT BE PMS! I'm living proof, seeing as I'm in a bad mood practically all the time, not just every 28 days. Rethinking youth group tonight, because I want to make a good impression, and I don't want to bite anyone's head off.
And I don't think I'll fit in, but hey. I gotta go sometime.