Refreshing foot spray!

It has rosemary and eucalyptus oil in it.
How...fabulous.
I used to hate the smell, but it's kind of grown on me.
It's a summer pasttime. Might as well spend all my time on quizilla.
I'm actually pretty into "Anne of Green Gables", as lame as that might sound.
I finished the first one and am making my way through "Anne of Avonlea".
I've read the first three a couple of times, but forgot how much I like the series.
So I'll finish that series while reading another and trying to finish "Les Miserables".
Like that'll ever happen.
But I'm hoping that maybe...someday...
Psh. I know what happens to Valjean anyway.
"Love's Labours Lost" is my new favorite Shakespeare play! It's a riot, even funnier than "The Taming of the Shrew"!
There are all sorts of inappropriate sex jokes.
Boyet made one about inserting his arrow into Rosaline's mark or something, and the translation at the bottom was, mark: female genitals, arrow: penis.
Rather shocking.
Biron was my favorite. The King and the three scholars all wrote sonnets to their lady loves, but Biron's was the best.
I swooned a little bit reading it. He can shoot my mark anytime.
But I was expecting a huge quadruple wedding at the end, but it wasn't to be.
I could care less about the other people, but Biron and Rosaline were supposed to rush into each other's arms and embrace passionately.
Oh well. At least she said she'd consider marrying him in a year's time.
And I like how one of the themes was Girl Power. All the guys were losers.
Except Moth.
I've been cooing a lot. Maybe I should stop exposing myself to overly romantic stuff.
But I can't help it! Awwww, Biron. Awwww, Gilbert Blythe. Stuff like that.

Shakespeare romp turns into suckfest

Kenneth Branagh. You were doing SO GOOD.
"Much Ado About Nothing" started off great.
Except for the giant bathing orgy, where the women started stripping down and rubbing each other with shampoo, and the men wildly ripped off their clothes and swung like Tarzan on a vine into the public fountain.
And you got to see EVERYTHING.
Those were DEFINITElY pubes.
And Keanu Reeves can't act to save his life. He is POSITIVELY terrible. His first big scene found him on a massage table wearing nothing but leather pants, though he quickly became angry and began to fondle his henchmen. The whole homoerotic vibe wasn't helping. "Betruchio! Rub me with oils while I describe my evil personality!"
And that guy from "House" was in it and I kept thinking, "Peter from 'Swing Kids'! Peter from 'Swing Kids'!" When things got slow, I whipped out my trusty umbrella and began screaming, "Swingheil! Swingheil!"
He, too, was a terrible actor. When he grew upset, he chose to destroy scenery and cry rather than fondle men.
When Emma Thompson and Kenneth Branagh were together, the movie was great. Even when they were apart, they had some great comedic scenes.
And I don't know who to blame for this, Shakespeare or Branagh, but those two characters reconciled their differences a little too quickly for my taste, and suddenly disappeared from the movie's plot for at least a little while.
MICHAEL KEATON WASN'T FUNNY! I suppose it might be to some, but his Patchy the Pirate impression didn't really do it for me. It was sort of distracting and stupid and unnecessary and he, Keanu Reeves, and Robert Sean "Swingheil" Leonard should have all jumped off a cliff together to rid the world of such talentless scum.
Actually, they'd have to take Brad Pitt, too. And Tom Cruise. And John Travolta. And George Clooney. And the Jonas Brothers.
I can't decide whether it was better or worse than "A Midsummer Night's Dream". I hated that movie, and the fact that it was practically a 2-hour long Shakespearean porno. But this one was so disappointing and just as nude.
And somehow, Kenneth Branagh managed to pull of "As You Like It", one of my favorite movies of all time.
Grrr....

Bestiality abounds

"Barbie and the Magic of the Pegasus": NOT okay.
That and "The Island Princess" were in the dollar bin at the rummage sale, so I bought both.
Aaaah. That movie was not kid appropriate.
The villain was a crazy polygamist!!
He'd been married three times!!
And he was an abusive husband!!
And he was so insecure that he made his wives ugly so he could boss them around and prey on their insecurities.
Great message for little girls, right?
And the little polar bear kept randomly dry-humping people, and it was supposed to be "cute".
NOT OKAY.
And the morals of the story: Take everything literally. Your parents will always love you. Abusive husbands are really insecure, balding men. Never trust a British accent. If a horse claims to be your sister, don't fight it; go with the flow.
Ugh, so frustrated with Barnes&Noble.
I had $30 worth of Barnes&Noble gift cards to spend, so my mom and I went over to check it out.
And, believe it or not, they were having a sale on DVDs! Buy 2, get 1 free! It seemed too good to be true!
Right.
They failed to mention that their DVDs are ridiculously overpriced, so you actually buying not only 1, but 2 DVDs would be pretty much impossible.
"As You Like it"? $26!!!!!
!!!!!!!!
I could find the exact same movie at Walmart for $15!!!!
"Enchanted"?? $20!!!!!
"Rent"? Not in stock.
AAaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
The final straw was accidentally setting off the alarm by carrying unbought books into the music section.
I just about started crying, but I opted for a screaming fit instead.
Right. A screaming fit. In the middle of Barnes & Noble.
I think I freaked the guy out. He kept saying, "It's okay! Chill out! Don't worry! It's going to be okay!"
But I bought 2 books I'm actually pretty excited about, so all's well that ends well?
The snooty book customers think otherwise.
Whatever. Get back to your overpriced lattes, suckers.

I've been living a lie...THERE'S NOTHING INSIDE!!!

I've become obsessed with personalities and people in general!
It's completely fascinating. Others might not think so, but I do.
And there's a whole website dedicated to understand temperament, personality type, and your role in the workplace. It's AWESOME!
Yes. I was salivating over it in the computer lab today.
And though percentages have changed since the late 1960's, INFJ is the rarest personality and ISTJ is the most common.
I'll make a pie chart or something.
Seriously. This is way cool.
Stay tuned!
Crap, I have a research draft due tomorrow.
And I've done little to no research.
And there's math.
But no French.
For ONCE.
MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND THERE WERE PACKAGES IN THE MAIL THAT I WASN'T ALLOWED TO OPEN!!!!!
Do you know what that means?
PACKAGES!!!! PRESENTS!!!! PARCELS!!!
GIFTS!!!
I have an evil plan involving seduction and a low cut sweater.
Take that, Mr. Darcy.

Everything and nothing

Ed officially hates me now.
In my haste to get out the door, I left my permit at home and had to wait 15 minutes for my Dad to drive by with it.
Ooooh yes.
He was not happy.
And I know it's my fault. I completely forgot about my stupid permit, even with plenty of sleep and a good healthy breakfast.
But then he got on my case about acceleration and deceleration and I almost clocked him.
We ended up driving around both my old neighborhood and my current neighborhood, which was fun and oddly comforting, but a little scary at fast speeds (like 50 mph, which is the fastest I've ever gone).
Oh yeah, be afraid. I'm driving a Scion at 50 mph! Someone might get hurt!
Scions turn great, but they have absolutely no power.
"Hunchback of Notre Dame" is NOT a kid's movie. I saw it for the first time last night, it being one of those "adult" Disney movies I never got to see as a child, and it was thoroughly enjoyable, but I wouldn't let my five-year-old watch a movie that featured topics like:
-prejudice
-persecution
-racism
-unrequited love
-Hell
-eternal damnation
-corrupt religious leaders
-violence
-death
-POLE-DANCING
Seriously, Esmerelda pulling out a pole-dancing routine in the middle of the square??
Since when is it okay for a kid to watch that?
Quasimodo had quite a nice singing voice, though.

Time for you to be replaced

The more I listen to "No More Sorrow", the more I think it's about President Bush. I swear, half the songs on "Minutes to Midnight" are about President Bush.
We get it. You hate him. Enough with the F-words.
Nathan's home. That makes things interesting.
Weirdly enough, he'll be home till AUGUST.
He did NOT come bearing gifts.
Argh. Why am I always KEY LIME??
Romeo and Juliet really is the most amazing play. I still don't understand why Mercutio breaks down during the Queen Mab speech. Act II is so sappy, though. She's 13, he's 17, they're horny, IT'S NOT LOVE.
And way to be melodramatic and kill yourselves, guys. XP
Dad will let me play in the worship team!!! We're going to talk to Mike...sometime...
I'm just hoping he doesn't want...I don't know, Pete Wentz?
Pete Wentz I am not.
Aw, we went to Farmland and played with the puppies. Piebald doxie = $800.
Dang.

Facepalm!

Heh. William made a pretty hilarious joke last night.
Lauren: [bringing up a topic that had been part of a discussion several nights previous] So once the king made sure Tuptim wasn't a virgin anymore, couldn't she and Lun Tha go for it whenever they wanted?
Mom: No, because she was part of his harem.
Lauren: So?
Mom: Meaning she was constantly being watched, so there was no place for them to be alone.
William: Yeah. [imitates Lun Tha] Okay, I think we're safe. [imitates tour guide] And over here we have a rare species of bird... *eyes widen in horror*
I guess you just had to be there.
So none of our family has been watching "American Idol" lately, because it's so boring, but David Hernandez was the first one voted out!!! That is so wrong! I bet it was because of the whole gay-stripper thing. Chikezie's out, too! For the love of pancakes, WHAT ABOUT KRISTY LEE COOK? SHE'S BEEN IN THE BOTTOM TWO FOR 3 WEEKS IN A ROW!!!
Aaargh.
"Beauty and the Geek" was pretty hilarious. "Hi, I'm Sara, and I've been sexually active with my boyfriend-" "Sexually active? What does that mean?" "Are you serious?" "So it's having sex...actively?" "No, having sex passively. Continue, Sara." "Hi, I'm Sara, and I've been having sex with my boyfriend-" "*covers ears* AAAGH, I need earmuffs!"
One of the guys looks and talks like Adam Sandler.
"Hell's Kitchen" was on, too, and no one could recognize Chef Ramsey with a prosthetic nose on. Then one of the chefs made a meal using raw venison, scallops, caviar, and white chocolate. Chef Ramsey threw up. Pretty sweet. Who doesn't love reality television?

True love experienced in the golden forest heals everything.

Aaah, the joy of retold fairy tales.
"Our parents have died of smallpox! What shall we do?"
"Come live in our manor!"
"Your mother says this boquet will never die, like my love for you."
AAAAGH, SO CORNY!!!
"Snow" was so much better.
Time to put a hold on other retellings. Hopefully there will be ones as good as "Beastly", "Snow", and "The Rose and the Beast".
"Wasteland", by Francesca Lia Block, is really sad. I don't want to give away the ending, but I don't know, is it still incest?
Mwahaha, I have a playlist called "Underrated Love songs". Trying to put it in exactly the right order.
Lol, I'm posting the first Pony Pals book in a month and a half. Yeah, I've been sort of...preoccupied.
Every time think I see you, I won't forget that nobody else could ever do what you did to me on that night I saw you there, so unexpected. I could care less who else was there, I've been infected, so infected by you.
Another cheesy song with Trevor's horrible phrasing.

Kotex lied to me (My butt is large and unsatisfactory)

I was going to write a song with that title, but I didn't.
That could almost be a Fall Out Boy song...if Fall Out Boy was an angry girl band.
Yeah. I haven't really posted. I've been...busy, I guess. I don't know where I've been.
This four day weekend seems ridiculously short. I think it was because for half of it I had basketball practice. LAME. None tomorrow, though.
Today was the last day of the "Rekindling the Romance" series at church, thank God. Now I don't ever have to hear about the marriage bed ever again. Hopefully, anyway.
I went to Sunday school, finally. It was okay. The message was cool and I really liked the speaker ("Aw...my heart flutters every time I see him..."), but it was like sitting in another hour of church. I knew a couple people, but I didn't want to say hi to any of them. I talked to one person the entire time. Who says I'm not social?
Ow. Ows. It's like my stomach hurts 24/7 now. Better than my hip, though.
Rereading Princess Diaries!!! Was trying to figure out which one was best. Time for another list.

1. Princess In Love (awwww...)
2. Princess Mia (DEMOCRACY! JP!!!)
3. Party Princess (Mostly because of Fat Louie's Pink Butthole)
4. Princess Diaries (the original one, which I first listened on tape, read by Anne Hathaway)
5. Princess in Pink (PROM!!)
6. Princess in Training (Except for Michael being a sex addict, it was pretty funny. And she became president of the sophomore class. w00t.)
7. Princess on the Brink (At least she broke up with Michael)
8. Princess in the Spotlight (JoCrox was the only cool part)
9. Princess in Waiting (70 pages of her stay in Genovia? So boring)

Yeah, I didn't count any of the 4 1/2's or whatever. That was invigorating. Crap, I have to go.

Oh...my...goodness...there's a bed on the altar.

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. My pastor just preached to me about orgasms.
My PASTOR just preached to me about ORGASMS.
Okay, so the sermon wasn't totally about that subject, but it was about SEX and the MARRIAGE BED.
I thought Pastor Barry handled it pretty well, and I knew other pastors (that I don't feel like mentioning) would turn "sex" into a sermon about how wrong it is to feel attracted to someone, or how sex is bad, or whatnot.
And I agree that sex isn't dirty as long as it's with your spouse and them only (I honestly don't care if you disagree, that's how we Christians roll).
But to talk at length about a passage in Song of Solomon that, up until today, I didn't know was about sex. Pretty dang GRAPHIC sex.
Pastor: In the marriage bed, the man wants to feel like he can please his wife.
Lauren: TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!
Yeah. And the worse part, I was there WITH MY DAD, because William was sick, so my mom stayed home. I don't know who was more embarassed, me or him.
And I was so planning to go to Sunday School today, too! I was like, "You know what, it's been too long, I should go," and my dad was sort of making me go anyway, and there are some pretty amazing guys that go to Sunday School, no lies, but after that message, I didn't want to walk in and be like, "Hi, my name is Lauren. Did you enjoy that graphic message about love and intimacy?"
Wow.
Enough about that.
I was listening to "Evening Out With Your Girlfriend" last night, because I've been listening to a lot of FOB lately, and "Pretty in Punk" really made me cry.
It's about this guy that is performing with his band or something, and he sees this girl he really likes, but she thinks he's all egotistical when he's really just shy. He also thinks her boyfriend is a jerk, but it's none of his business so he just walks off!!
It somehow reminded me of Simple Plan's "Vacation". I STILL hate that song. What guy would be that mean? Actually, I know guys who were that mean.

That's not all we shared.

"Temple of Doom" was definitely the worst Indiana Jones, but "The Last Crusade" ruined the entire trilogy for me. And he and his father screwed the same girl?? Whaat?? And it's justified, because "they're only human". I'm sorry, but that's disgusting.
Do do do do. I watched the last half of "Pride and Prejudice" (the good one with Colin Firth, not that joke with Keira Knightley) and it was all right, but I hate Jane, Lydia is a slut, Miss Bingley looks like that unibrow girl from "Dodgeball", and Mr. Bingley is way too jocular to live.
"The Wish List" by Eoin Colfer is a really good book. The theology is messed up, but it's really clever and so much better than the lame "Artemis Fowl" series. One of the best books I've read in a long time.
I've read 4 good books in a row. Huh. Then I decided to finish the Christmas themed Madison Finn and plowed through Pony Pal #31. Neither was very satisfying. Actually, the Madison Finn book was good because there was so much drama and the creepy stalker Drew kid was in it a lot.
"I'm going to Switzerland. Does anyone else want to go to Switzerland??"
I'm still addicted to White Rabbits. I ate 4/5 of a package today. That's not right.
Church was cool today. There was a potluck after church for new families, and they decorated everything to look like a 50's diner, and we got free burgers while "Happy Days" played in the background. Pretty sweet. The worship pastor was really nice and came over and talked to us. He told my favorite drummer joke and seemed to know a lot about music. Good man. He said I could probably play with the worship team because they need a bass or a trombone. Sweeet. Although basketball is starting soon and that will eat up most of my Tuesdays (band practice) and Thursdays (youth group). Oh well. I'm going to youth group on Thursday. Not as apprehensive as before. YEssss.

Texan collies galore!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH let me just say that I have pretty much the best white elephant gift ever. Okay, not the best, not by a long shot. It is, however, a lot better than the ones I thought up at the last minute from years past. This one required effort...but it was free, heh.
I love this hat. My grandma got it for me, and I kind of haven't worn it since then, but I'm wearing it now and it's really comfortable and not ugly.
What, I'm good at science now??
Brendan practically broke my hand.
Too much light! Too much light!!
Yeah. So I'm good at science now??
AND MATH??? It's kind of confusing/challenging, but at least I'm understanding it and learning. Quiz tomorrow.
:P I reread "The Road to Balinor" and I never liked that book to begin with, but I didn't think it could get any worse. Arianna = way annoying. And Chase is super narcissistic. The only characters I like are the "mean" ones, or the "rude" ones: Lori, Tobiano (lol, super obvious name), and Lincoln.
Sims 2 is pretty cool still. Now I'm down to 2 hours. Progress.... The Antoinettes have another baby, and the dad is the only one in prime physical condition. He's pretty ripped.
I'm actually supposed to be doing something else right now. But that's always the best time to go online.
I have to admit, Laurie Halse Anderson is a good writer. Well, duh, seeing as she won like a million awards for "Speak", but I never liked her books before, but now I kind of enjoy them. "Catalyst" is my favorite so far; "Prom" sucked.
I think "climax" is my least favorite word now. I've heard it used sexually too many times now. Oh well. This year is finally coming to a climax (thank you God), as are other events. As much as I love the Christmas, I'd rather it was over and done with.

Les Antoinette sont amusant.

Yay, I bought "Sims 2" with my hard earned allowance. Yeah, it's about time, I guess, lol. It's pretty sweet. I only have one family, and they're French. Surprise, surprise. The parents have (or had) this really adorable kid, but then it grew up. :P I'm trying to get them to have kids, but William kept watching me play. Aargh, it was like, "Go away, trying to make babies here." It's a lot better than the first one (which I'm probably gonna sell on ebay I guess?), but a lot harderish because you actually have goals. Trying to get my own music on the game, but the cheat is quite complicated and I'd rather not.
Do do do do.
Ha, school got cancelled. Not for my dad, though. It sucks that there's so much flooding, though; Brendan's house got flooded. I HAAATE Washington.
Madison Finn!
OMG I made the best CD ever. I finally found some other songs that would fit on my version of the "Maximum Ride" soundtrack, and it's pretty amazing, if I do say so myself.
1. "The Flight", Classic Crime (Because they fly...duh....)
2. "Dive", Disciple (It was talking about diving off cliffs and lacking physical exhaustion, which describes the Flock to a T.)
3. "Smells Like Teen Spirit", Nirvana (Max is such a little rebel)
4. "Calm Before the Storm", Fall Out Boy
5. "Everyone Like Me", Thousand Foot Krutch
6. "Revolution", Dizmas (I don't know, would be really cool during a fight scene...)
7. "The One Thing I Have Left", Hawk Nelson (ditto)
8. "The Only One", Evanescence (Now that it's on there, I have no clue why I chose it.)
9. "Of Wolf and Man", Metallica (For Ari, lol)
10. "Doomsday", Atreyu
11. "Sea of Angels", Plus One (makes more sense than Evanescence, but not much)
12. "Your Guardian Angel", The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (for the scene where Max kisses Fang...aww, so cute.)
Ronnie Winter is my new best friend. When he sees my smile, tears run down his face. Even though that's kind of weird and creepy. Actually, I'm not even sure that's a good thing.

NOM!

moar funny pictures
Book list additions:
9. "24 Girls in 7 Days" by Alex Bradley
Summary: Jack Grammar, a boy who has so far been unlucky in love, is mortified to find that his friends have posted a personal ad on the internet stating that Jack is trying to find a prom date and will date 24 lucky girls within the 7 days until prom.
Lol. Jack would never fondle your butt during a slow dance. Aaaagh, this book is so sweet, it kind of makes me sick whilst boosting my morale? Don't know. But Jack cracks me up and...aw, it's just too adorable, you'll have to read it.
Man, I can't get over "Hawsksong". So unbelievable. It's a good book if you're horny, lol. Not like I am...was.... Zane is a hottie. Apparently it's socially acceptable in serpiente culture do it in public?? Well, not, but PDA is approved? And necessary??? Like the opposite of America. Rei gets on my nerves. Gaar.

8,337 people...making progress.

You have to admit, 8337 is a step up from 4500 something.
Go, wikipedia, go.
What? "Under the Boardwalk", one of my favorite songs in the WORLD, is really about sex??? NOOOOOO.
I thought they were busy enjoying the smells of the hot dogs and french fries. Aaargh, I am so grossed out now. It makes sense, though.
Under the boardwalk (out of the sun)
Under the boardwalk (we'll BE HAVING SOME FUN)
Under the boardwalk (people walking above) [that's just sick]
Under the boardwalk (we'll be falling in love) [Psh, you'll be doing more than that]
Under the boardwalk, boardwalk.
:P
I swear, people must LIKE drama if they go about stirring it up all the time.
Aaargh. Probably best not to overreact. Is it all right if I'm confused?
I need to read Stephen King's "The Mist", even though I dislike the man. Yeah, change of subject. Gaaaar.

My favorite animal is the midget elephant, too!

Yeah. I just watched "Barbie as The Island Princess". The music was surprisingly really good and catchy. I am jealous of Barbie's singing voice. It was hecka better than "Princess and the Pauper".
But can you say "plot holes"? There were like 20 plot holes that left you going, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?" And there were a lot of factual errors. MIDGET ELEPHANTS? And since when do peacocks fly?
But it was semi-enjoyable. Barbie was really pretty in this one and seemed to have at least half a brain. My dad was trying to finish "Deathly Hallows" when I was watching it last night and I kept yelling at the computer (for some reason the Xbox wouldn't read it). Seriously, tho. What kind of name is Rosella?
Only the credits revealed some disturbing information.
Matt.......as himself.
Matt? Is there anything you want to share with the class?
Also, there were a few themes that totally did not work with a Barbie movie: Having children out of wedlock? Murder? Jealousy? Making the characters seem actually human? Say it isn't so.
So William killed me and cut out my liver apparently. Right.
I guess ice cream and Fritos isn't the best meal to have when you're sick, but hey.
I finally bought the new J-14, but it was so not worth the wait. J-14's staff is suddenly all in love with Nick Jonas. And he's trying to act all deep. YOU'RE 15!!!
And Cody Linley is really creeping me out. Even more so than Ms. Wiggins.
I have 3 really boring books I have to read. And I need to start on my stupid October book journal.
Surprisingly I really don't want to miss school. I don't know if that's more because I really like school or I know that if I miss even one day Mr. Caley, Mr. Cambell, and Mrs. Sims will kill me.
Do do do do do.
I think Pepsi could cure cancer. Or AIDs. Apparently Jenna Bush is a cool kid.