Refreshing foot spray!

It has rosemary and eucalyptus oil in it.
How...fabulous.
I used to hate the smell, but it's kind of grown on me.
It's a summer pasttime. Might as well spend all my time on quizilla.
I'm actually pretty into "Anne of Green Gables", as lame as that might sound.
I finished the first one and am making my way through "Anne of Avonlea".
I've read the first three a couple of times, but forgot how much I like the series.
So I'll finish that series while reading another and trying to finish "Les Miserables".
Like that'll ever happen.
But I'm hoping that maybe...someday...
Psh. I know what happens to Valjean anyway.
"Love's Labours Lost" is my new favorite Shakespeare play! It's a riot, even funnier than "The Taming of the Shrew"!
There are all sorts of inappropriate sex jokes.
Boyet made one about inserting his arrow into Rosaline's mark or something, and the translation at the bottom was, mark: female genitals, arrow: penis.
Rather shocking.
Biron was my favorite. The King and the three scholars all wrote sonnets to their lady loves, but Biron's was the best.
I swooned a little bit reading it. He can shoot my mark anytime.
But I was expecting a huge quadruple wedding at the end, but it wasn't to be.
I could care less about the other people, but Biron and Rosaline were supposed to rush into each other's arms and embrace passionately.
Oh well. At least she said she'd consider marrying him in a year's time.
And I like how one of the themes was Girl Power. All the guys were losers.
Except Moth.
I've been cooing a lot. Maybe I should stop exposing myself to overly romantic stuff.
But I can't help it! Awwww, Biron. Awwww, Gilbert Blythe. Stuff like that.

Compiling the perfect summer playlist

Not that my music collection is all that extensive.
But it's pretty fun with the songs/artists I DO have.
I'm trying to decide whether or not I should add Hannah Montana, but none of her songs really work.
Ugh, I just added some Rocket Summer. GROSS.
17 songs so far.
Aww, I'm doing this thing with my itunes where I listen to all the songs in order of when they were last played, so I don't want to mess it up and listen to this playlist.
Phooey.
Because you know how I am about my ipod.
I'll try to avoid Atreyu and "The King and I" soundtrack.
Beatles...yay or nay??
I want some of their good stuff. Not that "Magical Mystery Tour" wasn't smashing or anything. But...it seems I'm more of a "Across the Universe" Beatles fan.
I heard "Come Together" on the radio the other day and was like, "OMG, BEATLES!"

You Are Pretty Charming

While you're not a natural charmer, you can be charming when you want to be. And lucky for those around you, you usually feel like turning on the charm. You project a happy, calm image - even when you're feeling the exact opposite. You make people feel great about being around you... though you're not always up for putting in the effort.

Are You Charming?

Blogthings has been posting a lot more regularly now, and that's pretty great.
Even if the quizzes aren't that accurate.
Lol, should I add "Roxanne" by the police??
Yesterday, the sermon was about Rahab the prostitute (in Sunday school, not in regular church. That wouldn't have gone over well.), so William and I were singing "Roxanne", and the new version "Rahab".
Rahab...you don't have to put out that red cord.
Agh, so my playlist finally has 35 SONGS.
Now I need to do some cleaning.
Hey, I only used 3 FOB songs. Trust me, that's, like, impossible for me.
Just deleted "My Boyfriend's Back".
Aw, I wish.

You Are Break Dancing

You are a rebel and a rule breaker. You are uniquely you, and you expressing your individuality. And while you're different and a bit weird, you're no slacker. You're extremely hard working. Having unusual talents is not as easy as it looks!

What Dance Are You?

Okay, deleting more oldies.
Should I delete the song about the suave boy from NYC or the couple getting it on under the boardwalk??
Ugh, "Let's Twist Again" by Chubby Checker fits the mood, but it's SOOO cliche`. (How come I can never find those stupid punctuations?? Stupid French.)
And, to tell the truth, "Wild One" by Bobby Rydell is the coolest song ever.
Okay. Bye bye, Chubby Checker.
I'm keeping the song about the boardwalk tryst. Because they talk about sun and hot dogs...among other things.
Of my three Disney songs, only "All Star" remains.
Down to 30 now.
Three FOB songs: "Of All the Gin Joints in the World", "Thriller", and "Chicago is So Two Years Ago".
Hmmmmm...bad breakup song...gone.
Two songs by the same name...but one sucks.
Ha ha, hasta la vista, McFly.
Took off some not strictly summer songs. 26 now.
Tie is being pouty. She wants to be held and played with at the same time, which is virtually impossible, as she jumps around when she plays.
I'm trying to get down to 18 or 20. Which should GO??
Two "High School Musical 2" songs. "What Time Is It" is sort of an opening opener, but I don't know.
Forget Zac Efron. Ashley Tisdale stays.
HALLELUJAH! 19 songs, and I didn't use anything by Atreyu or FM Static.
Now for the order.
I love these shorts. For realz.
Okay, finished it. There's sort of a story. A weird, nonsensical nonlinear story.
1. "Friday Night", Slick Shoes
2. "We've Only Just Begun", Run Kid Run
3. "Luckie St.", Cartel
4. "Great Escape", Boys Like Girls
5. "Bring 'Em Out", Hawk Nelson
6. "Of All the Gin Joints in the World", Fall Out Boy
7. "Another Girl, Another Planet", Blink-182
8. "Wild One", Bobby Rydell
9. "All Star", Smash Mouth
10. "Girlfriend", Avril Lavigne
11. "Cupid's Chokehold / Breakfast in America (Featuring Patrick Stump)", Gym Class Heroes
12. "Cadillac Phunque", Family Force 5
13. "Saturday", Olivia the Band
14. "Saturday in the Park", Chicago
15. "Fabulous", Ashley Tisdale
16. "Rio de Janeiro", Ugly Duckling
17. "Walking on Sunshine", Jump5 (oh yes, I went there)
18. "Accidentally In Love", Counting Crows
19. "Under the Boardwalk", The Drifters
All done!! Now off to other things...like...sleeping.
Good books: "Born Too Short: The Confessions of an Eighth-Grade Basket Case" by Dan Elish and "I Can't Tell You" by Hilary Frank.
"I Can't Tell You" was good, but sad. Like, not TRAGIC sad, just..."I wish it were a happier ending." :( But it was semi-hopeful. Just a little offsetting and depressing.
"Born Too Short" was cute and funny, though. Very well-written.
Anything by Daniel Ehrenraft is good, too.

Super Silly Mega Buttcake!!

WE'RE GETTING A DOG!!!!!!!
IN 21 HOURS!!!!
Her owners brought her over to play yesterday. Her name is Tie, she's a Patterdale Terrier, and she is SO CUTE and energetic. They're bringing her by tomorrow and we're going to take her to the beach!!
Totally posting pictures.
Mom banned the "Super Silly Mega Buttcake" song, so we had to change the lyrics to "Super Silly Mega Crumbcake", which doesn't work half as well, so I named this post with the song in mind.
Aargh, there is this guy at church who is totally mean to my dad and I. He thinks he's so much better than us musically and will just glare at us when we say hi. XP
Hehehe, there was a cello in worship team today, so when we got home, I celloed to "Breakdown" by Relient K.
Then I kept celloing and it sloshed my brain fluids.
"How to Eat Fried Worms" is the best movie I've seen all year.
Woody: Stop hurting my bike!!
Billy: I'm not hurting your bike! I can't hurt another person's bike.
Woody: Well, you're shaking it, and it's hitting my dilly-dink.
Billy: Woody, don't say stuff like that!
Woddy: My dilly-dink is my penis.
Billy: *shocked silence*
It was such a boy movie. Half the bullies in the movie should NOT have been bullies. Two were nerdy, one had Tourette's, one tucked his shirt into his pants, one had a lisp...
I'm not saying those are bad things, but bullies don't normally have those types of characteristics.
They're usually the scary ones no one makes fun of.
My favorite part: When Twitch ran out of the woods screaming and wearing pajamas???
So much better than "Prince Caspian".

Where did THOSE puppies come from?

FRIDAY!!!
I love Fridays.
The day started off sort of depressingly, but it got better, so I can't complain.
"Romeo and Juliet" is so cool!!! I like how they can't keep their hands off each other. Hormones, anyone? But Juliet was totally flat-chested in one scene, then in the balcony scene, she was wearing a Victoria's Secret-esque nightgown WITH MAJOR CLEAVAGE! We were all like, "Whoa, where did THOSE come from?"
Mercutio is the BOMB! He attacks the Nurse, takes a dip in the fountain, and walks around with a cloth over his face going, "Bla bla bla bla bla bla."
It's pretty hilarious.
Only 15 minutes of science class! I missed the rest!
Band is too cool. Mr. Faxon turned on "We Like to Party (The Vengabus)" and we had this major dance party.
Well, all the nerdy white kids did, anyway.
And some of the nerdy half-white kids.
The pep assembly was too cool. We got to do our marching routines - including the dance party!!! Mr. Faxon made me do it without shoes (???) but that's okay, I guess. Except my feet sweat. And everyone totally loved it.
I love the Banana song!!!!

Your Body's Element is Air

You are competitive, assertive, and dominant. You live to win, and it really makes you angry if you lose. You are brilliant and competent. No matter what you're doing, you now your stuff. People tend to be intimidated by your intelligence. It's hard to measure up to you. Your energy tends to be: ebbing and flowing Your power color is: white

What Element is Your Body?

Psh. Screw white.
Wait, that's freshmen color.
Freshmen won today - AGAIN!!! I can't believe we won all our pep assemblies!! The sevvies and 8th graders almost booed Mr. Barry off the floor. It's not his fault.
The game was pretty retarded, though. Oh well. We won.
It's sort of ridiculous to be required to go to practice every day when all of your track meets are over.
I'm not going to Districts and I'm not in 7th or 8th grade. WHY BOTHER??
And it was like 80 degrees today!!! Too hot to run.
But not too hot to tan.
Coach's kids are so cute!!!

What Your Taste in Music Says About You

Your musical tastes are intense and rebellious. You are intelligent... but in a very unconventional way. You are curious about the world. You love doing something new. In fact, you enjoy taking risks and doing things most people would shy away from. You are very physical. It's likely that you're athletic, but not into team sports. You have the soul of an artist. Beauty and harmony are important to you.

What Does Your Taste in Music Say About You?

Time for dinner. That sounds like a chicken....
I swear, someone is "bokking" upstairs!!!

Your Independence Level: High

You are extremely self reliant and autonomous. You are definitely into doing your own thing. But you also wouldn't turn down help if you needed it. You follow your own path, but you don't do so blindly.

How Independent Are You?

Shakira is flat-chested, too!!!

Your Monster Profile

Demon Beheader You Feast On: Hot Dogs You Lurk Around In: Movie Theaters You Especially Like to Torment: Emo Kids

What's Your Monster Name?

Blowing off God for reality television

I wish I could justify it by saying there was a really good episode of "Hell's Kitchen" on.
Dave Ramsey does not look like he sounds. Somehow I picture a thin balding blonde man with glasses and a brown jacket, not a round bald man with FACIAL HAIR and glasses.
There is quite a difference between BALD and BALDING.
Welcome to the force, Drew.
Track is still amazing. Daniel runs like Pamela Anderson. Everyone sucks at long jump! 3 miles today. 3 miles. Wow.
Haha.

You Are a Brazil Nut

To most people, you seem exotic, unusual, and even a bit scary. But you're really quite normal. You're just hard to get to know. If people leave you alone and let you do your thing, you really shine. But you tend to get lost in a crowd, especially if it's filled with big personalities.

What Nut Are You?

Sensible people never follow the advice of online quizzes.
Right?
RIGHT?
Agh, the trombone music for church is so hard. Pretty ridonkulous.
Agh, "A Walk to Remember" is SOOO SAD. The book, not the extremely crappy Mandy Moore movie.
I apologize for the unnecessary alliteration.
But it was pretty hard to get into until the very end, where Jamie is dying and Landon is reading the Bible every single day. Agh. Nicolas Sparks slays my soul.
Hurray for random quizzes.
"Leaper" by Wendy Mass is an amazing book, as is "Crushed" by Laura and Tom Mcneal.
Heh. Phone calls with boys are so much nicer. Maximum length about...30 seconds.
OMG, "BEAUTY AND THE GEEK"! So it was the makeover episode, which is the best episode of every season. Greg and Tommy look amazing ("I'm hot with a W!"), but Matt, Chris, and Jason sort of look the same. Joe looked good, but he's SO ANNOYING, and he kept being like, "I don't feel comfortable, this is so stupid, I hate this, I'm going to go cry in a corner."
Their challenge was to write and perform a soap opera scene with the theme "Prom night". Jason and Kristine's was beyond lame. "You are so hot. *takes off shirt*" Superjew!! Chris and Cara's was pretty much hilarious. "Where was Mike when you were abducted by pirates? How about the time when he skipped lunch to get on his motorcycle and fake his own fiery death!!??" Lol. Greg and Randi should have won.
Greg: *leaping off the bed* STOP!! I just can't do this anymore!
Randi: Why?
Greg: Do you really want to know why?
Randi: Yeah.
Greg: Do you REALLY want to know?
Randi: WHY?
Greg: I'm gay.
Randi: *slap*
Greg later said, "When she slapped me, I was so shocked. That was NOT acting." I don't know, you just had to see it.
Joe and Tara = BEYOND LAME. They both take themselves way too seriously.
Heh. Tommy and Amanda's was pretty good. It turns out Tommy was a psycho killer and he poisoned Amanda. "We could've had something really special together."
Agh, Matt and Leticia's was kind of corny and he ended up kissing her, so they won, but it was pretty soap opera-y, so I guess it was obvious that they had to win.
Because characters in soap operas don't get abducted by pirates.
Although one of the actors on "The Young and the Restless" was like, "Abducted by pirates? That is so brilliant, I'm putting that on the show!"
Ew, those actors did the worst love scene ever. It almost put me off heterosexuality forever, it was so boring.
Yeah. I'm still straight, though, don't worry.

I now know why my parents hate me.

Ew. Ew. Ew. Never watching "Quest For Camelot" EVER again.
Because Cary Elwes is the voice of Garrett. I knew his voice really bothered me for some reason, but I didn't know why.
Okay, when you look on the back of the movie, it doesn't look like there's anyone famous enough to have their name put on the back, but hello? Pierce Brosnan, Cary Elwes (ewwww), Celine Dion, Gary Oldman, Don Rickles, and Eric Idle provide the voice talents for this movie. Wows.
"The King and I" was even worse. I guess the filmmakers decided if they smushed 2 hours of plot, a few of the award-winning songs, and tons of "hilarious" slapstick humor into 90 minutes of cartoon, it would be great AND kid-friendly.
Not so much.
The songs were great...except Anna Leonowens had the MOST ANNOYING singing voice ever. Too breathy, and she sounded like the mom from "The Swan Princess".
Aaagh, just too awful. It was pretty racist, too. Master Little? Painful. And they gathered elements from ALL Asian cultures and tried to pass it off as Siamese.
The worst part? They didn't even use the theme from the original "The King and I".
However, Tuptim and Chululongkorn sang "I Have Dreamed", my absolute FAVORITE song from the original film (even though it technically wasn't in the original one).
Oh yeah, the delectably shirtless Lun Tha was missing, replaced by a grown-up Chululongkorn. Lol. And Tuptim was a flower arranger instead of a concubine, because concubines are not family appropriate. And, you know, it would be really awkward if the Crown Prince wanted to get with the girl his dad has been sleeping with.
Aaagh, Louis kept forgetting to put on his British accent. Kralahome = so evil. But he didn't even wear a skirt!
ROFL, there's a board on IMDB for "The King and I" entitled: I was on the staff of this movie and even I hate it.
So I'm watching it again this afternoon.
AAAAAAAH I FOUND A DRESS FOR FRESHMAN!!!!
It's a black halter with pinkish polka dots and netting under the skirt. I also got Vans that look like slippers to go with it.
So pumped.

Jessica Seinfeld lied to me

I bought all the stupid ingredients for her stupid cupcakes, mixed them all together, greased the pans, timed the oven, etc.
And what do I get?
A bunch of bland muffinlike objects covered in a nasty frosting, and if I were a kid, I definitely would NOT have been fooled by these imposters. Maybe Jessica's kids were, but they're sugar deprived and eat their vegetables like little angels and have probably never eaten a Twinkie in their life. Freaks.
Ha, we went to the library yesterday and I found a book called, "It's not the Stork!" which taught your children the TRUTH about where babies come from. In it were pictures of little boys and girls without pants on looking down at their boy/girl parts, fetuses, and *GASP* A NAKED MAN AND WOMAN HUGGING IN BED! AND YOU KNOW WHAT HUGGING LEADS TO!!! I thought the book handled the sex bit pretty well, because you can't just tell a 7-year-old what goes on in the bedroom, but come on: they explained sex as what happens when a man and a woman get too close. Well, they were a little more specific than that (so specific my mom forbid me to say it to ANYONE), but if I were a little kid, I'd still be confused. They followed up that paragraph with another one saying that you were too young to learn about sex anyway. Oh, okay then.
Bah, Sunday School. It's like sitting in church for another whole hour. The pastor's cool and everything, but honestly? I'd rather be at home. I still haven't gone to regular youth group, but if it's like Sunday School, I might just shoot myself. At least I have a chance to go this week, because it's a home game, so my mom doesn't have to drive 1000 miles to pick me up from Sedgwick or whatever.
It's perfect track weather outside. I wish track season started now, because when it does start, it'll be back to cold and rain and wet grass. I hate Washington.
And groundhogs, come to think of it.

Do it right this time. *pause* Okay, I messed up.

I love this CD. So cool.
Aaaargh someone stole Tim's book and my book journal yesterday, only it turned out Tyler took Tim's book, but I CAN'T FIND MY BOOK JOURNAL! I had it in the library on top of my stuff and it was NOT there when I went to get it again. Not my fault, though. We could only take a pencil and had to put all our crap on the shelves. :P Oh well. I could always get a new one, but I want to show off my 5/5 on most of my writing assignments.
I'm addicted to "Monk". It's way cool. I'm trying to get my Mom hooked on "Psyche", but we don't get that channel. Aaargh. There's always the library. Yeah right.
Speaking of libraries, the librarian gave me this book that I have no memory of ever holding, and if I did, it was a LOOOONG time ago. Like 7th grade. Kind of odd. But it had my name on it. Weird.
Heh. Science was so cool. I threw a ruler at Drake. But then Mr. Campbell lectured us both about assault. Well, he shouldn't be hitting my nose then.
Jesse needs to time right. Our times were way off. Forget acceleration.
Aaaagh our practice for "Electricity" was so cool. Only I didn't get a stand light. Because they didn't want to plug mine in. Ouch. Kevin, Robert, and I were playing our little band game "Are You Nervous?" It's so awkward and probably illegal and it could be counted as assault to Mr. Campbell, but it's fun in a weird, perverted way. Kevin's really good at it when he's playing with a girl. Interesting.
Math was pretty cool, too. I got Tyler in trouble, but other than that.... Connor had tape on his forehead?
I love crossword puzzles.
I love Fridays.
I WANT A DOG.
And some Fritos.
And some chocolate chip cookies.
I'm almost on chapter 4 in the French book. I don't want to finish this book before the end of the year, but this is ridiculous. I also did all the work up to chapter 4 in the workbook. I'm such a nerd. I had to review chapter 3 today, and it made more sense. Maybe I should review chapters 1-3 and all will be well.
Uh oh. If we aren't to chapter 3 by November 6 I'm reading the end of the book. This is too slow for me.
First lunch today. That was pretty fun. Why is everyone I know in first lunch? Band should have first lunch. Only I'm pretty sure that's hazardous to your instrument.

Hello, Moto.

What promised to be an okay day become a cArAzY day!!!
Well, it was pretty fun, anyways.
We decided to come up to my grandparents' house because we could talk to them and watch cable and use their new internet and possibly go out to lunch. Which is messed up. We are a horrible family.
But Grandpa made some pretty stellar pancakes, which tasted amazing + syrup and Reddi Whip. HURRAY FOR PROCESSED FOODS!
I think Miley Cyrus and I have come to an understanding. Don't ask me why. Really, I don't even want to discuss that. Let's just say I don't hate her quite as much as I once did....
My grandma bought two new cellphones. Pretty much. They're pretty sweet. And we got them at Costco, where there are samples and Barbie's "The Island Princess". Oh, and my new track jacket. Heh. So preppy. But it's UW. You know. So in case I finally get to leave this place I'll have some memory of where I'm from, or whatever. We wanted to get a WSU hoodie (booooo) for Nathan, but the people who made them didn't believe in tall people.
I mean, if you wanted a larger size, wouldn't you expect it to be longer? Yeah, he's 6'2". But the XL was wider and just as long as the L. LAME. LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME.
Sorry, Nathan. But they were ugly anyways.
We could've gotten you a polo, but noooooooooooo....
I'm so jealous. My grandparents have cooler cellphones than I do. I don't have a cellphone, however. I don't actually want a cellphone to talk, because I hate talking on the phone, but I like texting people (which, according to my parents, is never going to happen, so forget that), and it would be way convenient at certain places, such as the fair....
Which is over. Man.
Who knew steers had a crazy sex drive? Just saying.

You'll need more than some seltzer to put out this fire.

I swear, the "Big, Blonde, and Beautiful" reprise is the sort of song you could strip to. I can totally picture this all in my head. There's a pretty complicated "Little Miss Sunshine"-like routine in my head. Don't ask.
YAY, a new Blogthing!
Alexis and I just messed around all through study hall. She drew me a picture of a character from a story she's writing. Lauren + Emin = forever.

You Should Play the Accordion

You are eccentric, funky, wacky... definitely one of a kind. People have trouble putting you in any one particular category. You definitely have your own thing going on. You are a born entertainer. No wonder you'd be perfect as an one man (or one woman) band. Your musical influences likely cross all genres - and blend together in a very unusual way. While you are definitely offbeat, you also enjoy tradition and influences from the past. It's just your style to take an old fashioned instrument like the accordion and make it uniquely yours. Your dominant personality characteristic: your total inhibition Your secondary personality characteristic: your interest in obscure activities and subjects

What Musical Instrument Should You Play?

Uh...not really.
Do do do do.
Heh. I'm going through these Pony Pals like muffins.
Wait. It sort of takes me a long time to finish a muffin.
Look out, old Baltimore, I'm selling something you can't purchase at a 10 cent store. Wilbur, I feel like a princess! Come on and take me to the ball. I bet you're tired of heavy lifting. Get your hands on something small.
Do do do.
I like that song. Too much.
Heh. I had a 7th grader ask me about ASB. He thought I didn't have to take classes and sat in the office all day. Which would be cool...but no.
I want some muffins, now that I think about it.
Paul thinks I'm in love with Zac Efron. So I pushed him off the falcon foot. Then Connor pushed me off the falcon foot. Then I did it to him and he died. 9th grade...yeah. Gotta love it.

Bored French ramblings

I'm creating a French conversation between two random nonexistent people with my limited knowledge. Like how would you refer to a boyfriend or another person?
Or just say, "WHO'S THAT???" Hey, there's always the English-French dictionary.
Nathalie: Tu t'appelles comment?
Thibaut: Moi, je m'appelle Thibaut. Et toi?
Nathalie: Je m'appelle Nathalie.
Thibaut: Salut, Nathalie.
Nathalie: Salut, Thibaut. Tu est d`ou'? (i know that's wrong...)
Thibaut: Je suis Bremerton.
Nathalie: Ou?
Thibaut: Ca n'a pas d'importance. (I am totally getting this out of the English-French dictionary. I don't know any of this stuff.) Ca va?
Nathalie: Pas mal, merci. Et toi?
Thibaut: Ca va tres bien, merci.
Nathalie: Pourquoi?
Thibaut: Elle est seduisant. *points to blonde chick* (LOL I love French!)
Nathalie: Elle est blonde.
Thibaut: Oui. Elle est la petite fille blonde. (um, right. Need to refer to textbook.)
Nathalie: J'ai de plus belles chaussures qu'elle.
Thibaut: Je m'en fous. (Uh oh, that's actually a little innappropriate right there.)
Nathalie: Elle est prostituee.
Thibaut: Tu est envieux.
Nathalie: Oui. Ciao, Thibaut. A tout a l'heure.
Thibaut: Au revior, Nathalie.

The Immunity Berry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL I just watched "Barbie Fairytopia in Mermaidia"...or whatever it's called. HA! That movie is hilarious.
You know I have to rant.
I like Bibble now. So adorable. Except he ate these berries that made him sing with disturbing side effects.
Berry #1: Yodeling powers
Berry #2: Opera powers
Berry #3: Heeeeelllllllo, little berry. You are just the most luscious thing you ever saw... Mmmmm, I didn't forget about you, baby.

It was muy disturbing.
And in the opening scene there was this creepy fairy...oh my bad, SEA BUTTERFLY...that had a ginormous head and a really annoying voice. My mom wasn't even watching and she was like, "OMG, that is an annoying voice."
And it was.
OH NO, FUNGI HAVE CAPTURED PRINCE NALU! Heh. I remember him. I had a huge crush on him, as I can recall.
Because he was hot for a cartoon character.
It depends on his facial expression. If he falls into sullen shame, his forehead expands. No lie.
And all of a sudden there's this Nori Mermaid Barbie (TM) who's all in love with him. Say whaaaaat? Didn't he have a huge crush on Elina (by the way, if all the fairies are named after flowers are colors, WHAT KIND OF NAME IS ELINA???) in the last movie??? WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT?? And Nalu is a huge player. This Nori chick can't really think they could have something together.
Oh wait. She doesn't. "He's a prince, I'm a commoner...it just doesn't work that way."
"But you know you guys are MFEO!"
"I know...wait, MFEO??"
"MADE FOR EACH OTHER! *giggles of death*"
The merfairies were annoying, too. And they had HUMONGOUS heads.
But then at the end, Elina's all, "Nooo, I only like Nalu as a friend." Riiiiiight. But she reveals the secret: NALU LOVES NORI! NORI LOVES NALU! AND....they're cool with that. I don't expect much from that relationship. But this is coming from me. Never mind.
I really hate Elina. Not only is she wimpy, she always has to be right. GRRRR. But compared to Nori, she is downright ugly. Nori is pretty much a babe, and I don't even like girls.
Lol, my mom was like, "Ew, her makeup is horrible!" But she said it about Elina, so it was okay.
Oh no, Laverna turned into a frog. And Elina couldn't get her wings back. You know, she REALLY should have stayed like that. Been taught a lesson in humility and have been wrong for a change. But no. She ate the berry that reveals her true self and her true self has wings!!!!!! Apparently Laverna's true self is a frog. Ha. Ha. Ha. Not.
MY DAD GOT AN IPOD!!!!!! It's blue. I want it.
We went to Party City looking for a Sorting Hat, but their Harry Potter selection was limited to glasses, wands, and brooms THAT DON'T ACTUALLY FLY! What's the point of selling them, then??? Oh yeah, and a golden snitch whose wings didn't work. So...I don't know what my dad's doing.
AAAAAGH must watch "Princess and the Pauper", "Barbie and the Magic of the Pegasus", and "Barbie Rapunzel". And eat Coke Gummies. And die to death a happy death.

Death threats and twelve Mississippis

Seeing 40 comments on one post is pretty intimidating. I was thinking coming-of-age teen drama gone wrong. You know, the one's where the girl ALWAYS has a diary and it's posted on myspace, or scandalous pictures are taken of her and people start calling her Virgin Mary (heh heh, totally "Walk to Remember"). I was like, "Wth, I don't have a diary? Did someone photoshop me into a porn flick?"
That's my cardio workout for today.
Lol. I love listening to the radio/watching TV with my dad.
Me: *drying dishes*
Dad: *washing dishes*
Radio: Are you STRUGGLING to attain sexual performance?
Dad: AH-AH-AH-AH-AH! *turns down radio*
Me: *can still hear the entire commercial*
Lol. I love the weird Dad-noise he always makes whenever anything sexual comes up. Only, when it's with his relatives, he laughs along. If it's Mad TV or SNL, it's the Dad-noise. "AH-AH-AH-AH-AH!"
Who came up with that commercial? Maybe it's something a lot of people are bad at and they just have to deal with. Whatever happened to being true to yourself?
Aaaaaaaaaand I can't believe I just said that.
HA I bought Chick and Pepper jeans. They're amazing. I also bought an emo sweater (with a hood, yo), another thermal, and two random shirts. Cuz I'm worth it. Not.
But my mom was freaking out because she bought all that and a bunch of stuff for William and it was all under $100. Wow. We're good.
So she bought us these gross imitation Coke gummies (not like the delicious Haribo kind) and banana taffy and let me play Guitar Hero at Software ETC, where I mutilated a Guns 'N Roses song. Ouch. And William was like, "You killed it!" Um, hello, I just moved up to medium, and it was my first time playing that song. He still mutilates songs he's played ten times each. And I'M the bad one. :P

SNARGALUFF!!!!!!!!

Yeah. I just reread "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" and I feel like talking about all the random things that tickled my fancy, so there will be billions of spoilers. I can't say I feel really sorry for those that haven't read the book. Hello. It's been almost a month. Go buy a copy or borrow someone else's or SOMETHING.

SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT
Percy: I WAS A FOOL!!! I was an idiot, I was a pompous prat, I was a - a -
Fred: Ministry-loving, family-disowning, power-hungry moron.
Percy: YES, I WAS!!!
Lol. That's a great bit of dramatic reading there, and I was all for reading it out loud, but it was midnight and my parents were asleep and I was afraid the weeping angels would hear me. More on that later.

I noticed that Harry keeps randomly making out with people. (page 116, page 377) And I guess the instance on 377 wasn't really real, but come on. I at first thought it was and was like, "SAY WHAT???"

I LOVE JAMES AND ALBUS POTTER!
James: Don't forget about the thestrals.
Albus: I thought they were invisible. YOU SAID THEY WERE INVISIBLE!!!!!!!!
Albus Severus is the worst name ever. Almost as bad as Hugo. Maybe worse.

I don't know, after Ron and Hermione became a couple, I lost interest in their little romance. Especially after they got married. It wasn't as fun, without all the bickering and the lies...

Someone should make a Harry Potter music video to the Pokemon Theme Song. I'm seeing a masterpiece here.

OMGEEEEEEZ, I made an age list of some of the HP characters and HARRY IS 36 AT THE END OF BOOK 7!!!!
I'm sorry, that just makes him seem old...

List of Harry Potter ages by the end of book 7:
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Neville: 36
Ginny: 35
George: 38 (and it takes place in 2007, so Fred would've been way too old for me to marry)
Percy: 40!!!!!
James: 12 or 13
Albus: 11
Lily: 9
Teddy: HE'S 19!!!! I was picturing some 12-year-old, lol.

Oh yeah, about Teddy: WHO DOES HE LIVE WITH??? Because James acted like Teddy didn't or had never lived with them. Kaitlyn was all, "Duh, he lives with his godfather," but it doesn't sound like he does...or did. And how old is Victoire?? Hopefully older than 15. DATE RAPE.

LOL.
Ginny: Give Neville our love!
James: Mum! I can't give a professor love!
Ginny: But you know Neville-
James: Outside, yeah, but at school he's Professor Longbottom, isn't he? I can't walk into Herbology and give him love...

Page 755: DRACO HAS A RECEDING HAIRLINE! HA!

Albus: What if I'm in Slytherin?
Harry: Albus Severus, you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew.
Albus: But just say-
Harry: -then Slytherin House will have gained an excellent student, won't it? It doesn't matter to us, Al. But if it matters to you, you'll be able to choose Gryffindor over Slytherin. The Sorting Hat takes your choice into account.
Albus: Really?
Harry: It did for me.
Whatever. Slytherin still sucks.

I love it whenever Kreacher talks. "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT FOR MY MASTER!"
SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT

Anyways, about the weeping angels, there was this show on last night called "Dr. Who", which is something William has become obsessed with. It's about a time traveller, but that's not really important.
Anyways, there are these weeping angel statues that, when you look away, they would uncover their eyes, and once you look at them, you turn to stone, so the two main characters were trying to look at them, but then they looked away for one moment and were like, "Hey, we're not looking at the angel?" So they look back, AND IT'S RIGHT IN THEIR FACES!!!!!
It doesn't sound scary, but it was SO FREAKY. I had nightmares pretty much. Actually, not, but I was paranoid all night long. The end was cool.
ONLY THE HOT GUY GOT SENT BACK IN TIME! AAAAAARGH!
"Why are you asking me out?"
"Because life is short and you are hot."

Let me get this straight...

So Matt likes to see Michael Jackson dance, no, PERFORM, at a distance.
Ooer.
Kara has amazing pickup lines.
"If you were a booger, I'd totally pick you."
I'd mess it up and or start laughing. "Are you a booger? Because... Crap. WAIT, COME BACK, I MESSED UP!"
Lol. Clive...
"I bet I can kiss you without touching your lips. *the obvious ensues* That was worth every penny."
"I bet I can punch you without touching your face. *punches in the balls* I guess you owe me $40 now."
YEAH.
Hmmmmm hahahaha.
This mood ring might be a fluke, but it's still pretty.
It says I am neutral.
What is it, Put-Lauren-Through-Emotional-Trauma day???
Let's have ice cream!
Knowing my father, I'll never get to watch Harry Potter.

You set your mind on cruise control...

...knuckles grip the wheel in fear to let it gooooo.
Love is empty, love is cruel, love it blindly breaks the rules,
How could I have been such a fool, it's something all of us go through.
You choke back tears and swallow lies, those rubber plates won't fix your eyes,
Count on having clouded vision for AT LEAST A LITTLE WHILE!
I love Classic Crime. I swear. They are amazing.
And it turns out they make me laugh.
"The Poet" is my new favorite song. Followed by "The Bitter Uprising", because some of the lyrics sounded questionable.
Or maybe that's just me and my dirty mind.
*sigh*
I remember the days when my mind was pure and virginal.
Gone are those days.
Hello to the days ahead, full of sex jokes.
Right then.
Hm. I shall list the Classic Crime songs in order of amazingness. Because I can.

1. The Poet
2. The Bitter Uprising
3. Headlights (you know it. COME HOME!!!)
4. The Flight (except for the annoying intro. "You guys are really gonna rock the whole wide world!")
5. Blisters and Coffee
6. All the Memories (I CAN NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN!!)
7. I Know the Feeling (of being all alone...so let's drink to the fact that we're not.)
8. We All Look Elsewhere (I used to hate this song)
9. The Coldest Heart
10. Who Needs Air (Singing silent songs of sadness...)
11. Flight of Kings (kind of annoying)
12. Say the Word (really annoying)

Hold up, wait a minute...

PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN IT!
I have no idea why i'm listening to this song...
I was reading my giant and entirely satisfying book of fairy tales, but there are some things that just bother me.
Things That Are Wrong With Fairytales
1. Why are the heroines/damsels always perfect? "There was a little girl/princess/babe and she was beautiful and cheerful and perfect and everyone loved her so much that they named the village after her and her name was revered in all history books from then on, even though she'd never done anything significant except for being beautiful and cheerful and perfect."
Even Sleeping Beauty started out flawed until those stupid fairies came and perfected her.

2. Actually, Sleeping Beauty was kind of a ditz. "La la la, I shall go up to the tallest, darkest, gloomiest tower and poke sharp objects!" She definitely didn't win that prince over with her brains.

3. It said that the Three Bears thought their porridge was too hot, so they went on a walk to wait for it to cool. Yet Papa Bear's is still hot when Goldilocks gets there? Was his like molten lava to begin with? And how is Mama Bear's ice cold? Is she crazy or was it opposite day or...???

4. ESPECIALLY IF THE PORRIDGE CAME FROM THE SAME BATCH!!!

5. I dunno. Magic bowls??

6. Ugh. Little Red Riding Hood is stupid, too. And perfect. "Everyone loved her, bla bla bla bla." If she'd lived in MY village, I would've beat her up. A perfect little red hooded girl is just too intimidating.

7. And how did the hunter know the wolf had eaten the old chick and her granddaughter? Well, stupid question, but HOW DID HE KNOW HOW TO GET THEM OUT? Is he like the master surgeon or something?

8. Wouldn't the wolf have died as soon as they cut him open? Or not DIE, but wouldn't like 25 vital organs have been destroyed in the process? And cutting through bone? HELLO? BROTHERS GRIMM?

9. "But the rocks were so heavy that he fell down dead." WHY? Well, actually, no idea why, but it wasn't because they were HEAVY, genius.

10. I never really liked the story of "The Three Billy Goats Gruff". It was kind of dumb. And in this book the story was ultra condensed. It was only A PAGE LONG. WITH MINIMUM ILLUSTRATIONS! Just so dumb. Hate.

11. On the giantess in "Jack and the Beanstalk": wouldn't she get it by now? "The last boy was a thief, but you look nice." "The last two boys were thieves, but you look nice." Not only is it the SAME GUY, but doesn't this prove that you're really stupid about little boys??? "I only got robbed the last two times, and you're the same height, gender, and species. Come on in!" And as Lachlan would say: "And stay a while!"

Yeah. What happened? I got all cynical. LIKE ASHLEY WILKES STOCKINGDALE! Aaah.
You know, "Luv Addict" could really be about drugs.
"No," you say. "That's not true. They're just joking! It's really about love, not drugs!"
And "Candy Shop" isn't about sex...

Now I've tasted chocolate and I'm never going back

Pretty much. Amanda Bynes = worst actress ever. "Oh Seaweed, you do care! I was so sure the color of our skin would keep us apart!"
I'm waiting for my mom to by Mounds bars so I can make some magically delicious chocolate blobs. Gobs. Things.
I tried playing "Miss Popularity" to get my mind off things, but the game glitched and I ended up with no guy and so I played again and accidentally selected the jock personality when I wanted skater. Tarter sauce. After that I didn't really feel like playing.
I heart my Lion King piano book.
I AM DONE WITH SUMMER SCHOOL!!!!!!! I finished my last test and did all the chapter work so I am DONE.
Only he made me do the essay questions. :P
I really shouldn't like this picture, but I do...
I think it's adorable.
But you don't get to know what it is, in case you think I'm an a.) perv b.) freak c.) emo wannabe.
Which I kind of am. C, that is. B, somewhat, but A I don't like to think so.
Yay, Snape and Dumbledore conspiracy. Hehehehehe.
I love this Evanescence t-shirt. It fits great and I like to look down and see Amy Lee glaring back at me. Except when my hair's in the way.
Harry Potter insults:
"You're a Muggle!"
"You're a Squib!"
"You're a Deatheater!"
"You're a Malfoy!"
"You're a Weasley!"
"You're a Hufflepuff!"
*gasp*
Audience: Boooo, low blow...

Jake and Whitney...

...And why you should never cheat on your girlfriend when both she and her best friend have a Nokia picture phone, especially when she has the song "Luke and Danny" as her ring tone: A story that takes place in Canada because people say "snap".
There you have it. The title to the idiotic story I wrote so long ago... Okay, like two springs ago. This is just a TASTE of what was going on in my mind in seventh grade. There are some bits that you should just ignore.
I have "Ballroom Blitz" stuck in my head. No clue why.
And yes, I have come out of my suicidal funk. But I'm still a horrible person. With a horse patronus. Sucka...
And I have yet to edit my profile.
So, here you go:

Jake was down. His guitar was out of tune. His picture phone was recharging. [Remember, this is based off cellphone commercial, so everyone in this story is obsessed with cellphones. Okay. That's it. Shutting up.] Not only that, he felt inferior. His mom was a supermodel and his dad was an Irish folk singer. Jake looked down at his combination clock radio, which was blue and cost $10.95 at Wal-Mart. It was 2:30. Maybe he should go chill at the nearest AM/PM... [Also, Nathan had a huge obsession with AM/PM back then, so yeah...]

* * * *

Whitney was down. [I love that word.] Her mom had OCD and ripped down all the posters on her wall, moved around the furniture, gotten a new carpet [oops. Bad grammar.], and repainted her room NEON YELLOW. [I should add the word "had" in front of ripped, but I'm too lazy and I want to show this as my 7th grade self wrote it.] Oh yeah, and her dad threw out all the Diet Pepsi because he though diet soda caused cancer. Could life get any worse? She looked over at her combination clock radio, which was NEON ORANGE and didn't work, but she kept it anyway because it totally went with her now yellow room. [Ew...that was a horrible sentence. Kill me.] It was 2:30. Maybe she should go buy some Diet Pepsi at the nearest AM/PM.

* * * *

Jake looked at a package of Twinkies. They looked delicious and yellow. He reached into his pocket.
"Aw snap!" He exclaimed. "I only have KELLOG COUPONS!!" He contemplated shoplifting the tasty Hostess snack cakes.
"Hey," said the cashier. "No stealing tasty Hostess snack cakes." Snap. The cashier was obviously a mind-reader.
"Ew, that is so nasty," someone next to Jake said. "If something doesn't mold overnight, it has no nutritional value and probably has more calories than the state of Denmark." Jake looked up and saw Whitney. [Wtf? Is she really tall?]
Whoa, Whitney thought as she looked into his "intense" brown eyes. (description sponsored by Mr. Griffith of Fairview Jr. High) I totally want to marry you. [Yes, gentlemen, that is how women think: LONG-TERM.]
Whoa, Jake thought as he looked in her dark blue eyes. (description sponsored by Erin Hunter and Mr. Griffith of Fairview Jr. High.) You know where Denmark is! You could TOTALLY help me pass geography. [Actually, what she said didn't imply she knew where Denmark was. Aaah, I just remembered the end of this story and it's really making me cringe with disgust.] Whitney moved the Diet Pepsi she was holding to the other hand.
"Hey, I'm Whitney." Jake shook it and smiled.
"Hey baby." [OMGEEZ. That had something to do with Jason Dunn. And I can't remember where the "snap" thing came from. Probably from him. HATE.] He noticed a cell phone hanging in a cell phone holder (where else?) at her waist. "Nice phone."

* * * *

One week later...
"Hey Whitney, you going to the party that will involve dancing, food, and most likely alcohol even though we're all under 21? (30 for Miller Lite)" Whitney's friend Aleesha asked. [AAAAAH, there was that Miller Lite commercial where they wouldn't let the 21 year olds drink it and I seriously thought that was the LAW or something. Hate myself.] Whitney looked downhearted. She smiled sadly.
"Nope, I have to study. could you keep any eye on Jake for me?" Since the fateful meetin at AM/PM, Jake and Whitney had been going steady. [Sooooo 50's...] For one week, they were doing okay. Jake had called her once in the past 168 hours. [When I have a boyfriend, I will never call him and he will never call me. I'll just get a Myspace and comment him or something.] Aleesha grinned.
"Sure," she said as she whipped out her NOKIA PICTURE PHONE. (remember this, it's IMPORTANT) [I still don't know which is proper: punctuation AFTER parentheses, or before, therefore ending the sentence.] Whitney grinned, flipped her straight brown hair, and began a Pamela Anderson on "Baywatch"-like run into the library. [That one's for my BFF Toni. Lol.]

* * * *

At the party...
Aleesha spied Jake, with his normally curly hair spiked, talking to two girls who were OBVIOUSLY NOT WHITNEY (dun dun dun). She smirked, wielded her magic picture phone, took a picture, and sent it to Whitney.
At the libary...
Whitney woke from sleeping in her history textbooks to hear her phone beep. Someone (Aleesha, no doubt) had sent her a picture...OF JAKE CHEATING!!!! There was a text message: Sorry about Jake
Whitney groaned with disappointment. Someone heard her groan... He looked up. So did Whitney. An extremely hot Greek-looking guy who slightly resembled "Doctor McDreamy" on "Grey's Anatomy" smiled back at her. [I am going to bad writer hell.] Whitney raised her fine eyebrows, which she inherited from her obsessive compulsive mother. [I shall roast slowly among pages ripped from "Eragon" and "Eldest" and "Jake and Whitney..."] She smiled back and sent Aleesha a text message back. Jake who?

Moral(s):
PICTURE PHONES COME IN HANDY IF YOUR BOYFRIEND CHEATS ON YOU.
IF YOU CHEAT ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND, SHE WILL PROBABLY FIND OUT FROM HER BEST FRIEND ALEESHA, WHICH IS THE COOLEST NAME EVER.
IN CANADA, A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY "SNAP", INCLUDING THE MEMBERS OF THE BAND HAWK NELSON. [I knew it.]
TWINKIES HAVE MORE CALORIES THAN THE STATE OF DENMARK.
IF YOU DAD THROWS OUT ALL THE DIET PEPSI, HE IS TRYING TI PREVENT YOU FROM GETTING CANCER.
IF YOU MEET A HOT GUY AT A GAS STATION, HE WILL PROBABLY JUST ASK YOU OUT TO GET HELP ON GEOGRAPHY HOMEWORK.
LOUD GROANS AND "BAYWATCH"-LIKE RUNS INTO LIBRARIES ATTRACT GREEK-LOOKING GUYS. [That sentence sounded VERY sexual.]

So there you have it. Go ahead and laugh. You've all read my bad writing before.
Hopefully I've grown, though. This whole thing was an inside joke.
That'll teach me not to write inside joke filled stories.
Speaking of those, AMBY! FINISH THAT STORY SO I MAY READ IT!
Tyler was wearing Speedos...