Facepalm!

Heh. William made a pretty hilarious joke last night.
Lauren: [bringing up a topic that had been part of a discussion several nights previous] So once the king made sure Tuptim wasn't a virgin anymore, couldn't she and Lun Tha go for it whenever they wanted?
Mom: No, because she was part of his harem.
Lauren: So?
Mom: Meaning she was constantly being watched, so there was no place for them to be alone.
William: Yeah. [imitates Lun Tha] Okay, I think we're safe. [imitates tour guide] And over here we have a rare species of bird... *eyes widen in horror*
I guess you just had to be there.
So none of our family has been watching "American Idol" lately, because it's so boring, but David Hernandez was the first one voted out!!! That is so wrong! I bet it was because of the whole gay-stripper thing. Chikezie's out, too! For the love of pancakes, WHAT ABOUT KRISTY LEE COOK? SHE'S BEEN IN THE BOTTOM TWO FOR 3 WEEKS IN A ROW!!!
Aaargh.
"Beauty and the Geek" was pretty hilarious. "Hi, I'm Sara, and I've been sexually active with my boyfriend-" "Sexually active? What does that mean?" "Are you serious?" "So it's having sex...actively?" "No, having sex passively. Continue, Sara." "Hi, I'm Sara, and I've been having sex with my boyfriend-" "*covers ears* AAAGH, I need earmuffs!"
One of the guys looks and talks like Adam Sandler.
"Hell's Kitchen" was on, too, and no one could recognize Chef Ramsey with a prosthetic nose on. Then one of the chefs made a meal using raw venison, scallops, caviar, and white chocolate. Chef Ramsey threw up. Pretty sweet. Who doesn't love reality television?

No, please, go on. I find your tale absolutely enthralling.

Agh, "American Idol". I want all of Danny Noriega's clothes.
We lost our basketball game, and I only played 39 seconds, but it was a really good game, and we kept up with the best team in the league.
I'm parting my hair on the side more often. People tell me I actually look like a girl now.
There was this thing at the high school to welcome next year's sophomores and drone endlessly about the many WONDERFUL extracurriculars and classes that are available. Too bad I've already heard everything about credits and the WASL and 0 period a million times. But my counselor is nice. I'm not going to have that many friends in my classes next year, but oh well. High school is kind of going to suck with less required classes.
Nathan's a junior now!!!! AP-classes count for something. Hm... I think this means I should take AP English.
SO I SAYS TO HIM, "THAT'S NO LOLRUS, THAT'S MY WIFE!!"
Ha, Jason Castro sang the Shrek song. That's officially my new favorite song.
I wish I had been able to come home and REEELAX today. But I've spent most of my time at various schools today. Oh well.

Blink 182 with Dad: not such a great idea

Yay, let's listen to the American Idol women stink up the stage.
Agh, duress, duress, sooo much duress! Not even sure why, but I'm pretty darn irritable.
Well, more so than usual.
I think I need to eat more.
It just so happens we're covering Stress in Health class. What a concept!
I scored 456 on the Stressed Out quiz (seeing as it had you list events from the past year), and Mrs. Lutz wanted to know why.
Well, I don't know, I get home at 4:30 every day after 2 hours of brutal practice where a cop made me pull myself across the gym floor, but before that, I'm bored out of my mind in several classes and have no idea what to do in the others.
I want to buy some Lucky Charms.
Going to NYU. Going to NYU, and no one can stop me.
But they don't exactly have financial aid.
Heh. I threatened to become a music major and my dad tried to be supportive. Lol.
Ouch, cheese.
Hate rubber bands.
Pizza's not bad.
Read a depressing book about suicide, sexual abuse, and cats. Why, Aimee, why?
I think I'm going to kill all my current Princess Diaries families and make new ones. Because I'm a little disatisfied with my current ones. And I want Perin to look more androgynous.
Pueblo: A Spanish word for a village or town
I'm thinking about getting one of Amby's SAT books. Only I don't want mine to be about vampires.

I gotz u a rly good book...but I eated it.

What is going on with "American Idol"? I was thinking this season was going to be the best season ever, but last night the girls sucked. REALLY BAD!!! And all the guys did good, except for JASON YEAGER AND LUKE MENARD!!! But tonight on the results show, Garrett whatshisname and Colton Berry got kicked off? Garrett (that's probably not even his real name, I just forgot what it was) didn't do great, but he had potential (AND HE WAS BETTER THAN JASON YEAGER!) and Colton was good!! I liked Colton!
I mean, come on, Jason. "Moon River"? I started laughing uncontrollably at the start of his performance.
I was SOOOOOOOOO glad Amy Davis got kicked off (XP) but Joanne? She did pretty bad, but I liked her a lot more than I liked Kristy Lee Cook.
I mean, come on. Kristy is boring, sang a grand total of four different notes in her song, reminds one of Carrie Underwood (NOOOO), and SOLD HER HORSE TO BE ABLE TO AUDITION ON "AMERICAN IDOL"! Who does that??? There is no excuse. And she's convinced she'll be able to buy it back. Haate.
Moving on...
Basketball was pretty fun. Ee, I got to play, but some girl licked my arm, and kept grabbing the ball from me, so I blocked all her shots. We lost, though. AGAIN. Oh well.
Hehehe, there was a hilarious Paula Abdul video on "American Idol". Randy was barely in it, and I doubt he was really playing bass, and that was so not Paula singing. Dancing, sure, but singing?? Lies. It was funny, but sort of catchy-ish and I want it on my Ipod.
Ew, my arm is still wet after that girl spit all over it. Sicko.
I finally finished my Health project, and I'm pretty proud of it. I drew a plane, signifying my moving to the States, as my most significant moment, but I had a little bit of trouble with my happiest moment, especially when I found out it was limited to events from the past year.
Um...nothing?
So I decided to draw a puppy, signifying my dad's approval of the puppy plan.
Dance like there's no tomorrow!

Muffin of misery

Aujourd'hui est mon anniversaire!!! J'ai quinze ans. Je ne donne pas une fete pour mon anniversaire.
I love school! And I'm so glad it didn't snow today! My mom and I took muffins to jazz band. Partly because they're delicious. And partly to make a point.
I sort of really like the song "My Friend of Misery". I used to hate it. Why is that? Dunno.
Oh, and "Struggle Within".
Monica is a cool kid. I'm sort of understanding science, though I don't really listen all the time. Mr. Henrichsen got a new windbreaker...but he needs to gain at least 100 pounds for it to fit.
Lol, "American Idol" was on last night, and it was pretty intense. The first guy was SOOO good, and I hope he wins, but he probably won't seeing as only the beautiful people make it past the first round. And what happened to Melinda last year? She easily had the most talent. And LaToya London of season 3? What happened to her? She also should have won. The Star Wars girl scared the crap out of me. And she was REALLY ANNOYING. That one Alexis girl was high.
Do do do. I'm seeing a big difference between last year and this year. I don't know, it's just weird to me. Nice, though. Freshman year is pretty much amazing.
Amanda wrote a really cool story about Dan the Racist. Only she changed his name from Rudy to Dan!!! "I'll be C, for Charlie! You can be A for Allen. There's no 'T' in 'Chad', Trevor, so you can be 'H' for homo." "Aw man!"

This has been said so many times...

This isn't supposed to be funny, but it REALLY, REALLY IS!
I was also trying to watch "Harry Potter American Idol" but my computer wouldn't load.
Yeah. I reread all my teen magazines. All four of them.
There's at least 6 pictures of Jason Dolley in each one, along with a poster of him. No, I have not put any of them up yet.
Need to put up FOB poster, tho.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Summer school was shweet, I got three chapters done in less than 2 hours. I would've done four, but it looked really long. Laaaame.
There was this one kid who's already finished the entire 24 chapters. YOU SUCK! And Mr. Thorsen was like, "You are working too fast." "Too fast?" "Yeah."
Whatever. Good for him. JEALOUS.
CRAP! Accidentally clicked another link when I was 1:15 through the movie and now I have to start over. Ooooh dear.
"Even how to score with hot babes..."
I watched some of the other Potter Puppet Pals and they weren't as funny. "You have fun sacks!"
And Bananaphone made me want to kill something.

Do you feel like a man when you push her around? Do you feel better now?

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus lyrics. So Pluggedin loves them. But they haven't reviewed Cartel or Gym Class Heroes. LAME.
I SWEAR, there's a guy in this band with the most amazing hair. He looks just like Blake Lewis with dark hair, only not as corrupted or short/annoying.
I finished "The Night I Disappeared", some girl who created an alternate reality after a "traumatic" event in her past that she can't remember. And I was busy rolling my eyes, because in most books, the situation is always she was molested/raped and she can't ever get past it. But IT'S NOT! Shocking... She gets put in a psychiatric ward.
I also read "Guitar Highway Rose". The title sounded emo and the description was getting there, so I checked it out. Took me a while to find it was British, too. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? And Rosie and Asher run away together. Awwwww. Not. There's an event near the end I totally did not see coming. I mean, I knew right away what had happened when I read the description, but it was like, "Wha? Why'd you stick that in there?" Kind of a pointless book. Asher didn't use punctuation. Everyone was talking about hot chip addictions.
FACE DOWN IN THE DIRT, SHE SAYS THIS DOESN'T HURT!
I see what's going down...
I want stripey socks.
And dreads.
But then I wouldn't wash them. Ew.
I want to dye my hair. Don't know quite when that will happen.
These emo pictures are dumb.
I wish I had a counter to see how many times I use emo in a post. Emo emo emo emo emo.

Shrek 3 ****Major spoilers for all who care****

Wow, have I really not said anything about American Idol? I'm SO GLAD Jordin won. Blake has been corrupted, I tell you. And he creeps me out.
But I just saw Shrek 3. Read on.

Plot: Shrek (Mike Meyers), coming back from being reunited with wife Fiona (Cameron Diaz) after a dastardly Jennifer Saunders tried to ruin his Happily Ever After, must find Artie (Justin Timberlake *puking*), next in line to the throne (after him and Fiona), after the king (John Cleese) dies. Meanwhile, Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) is trying to take over the kingdom, bla bla bla.

1. WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE POP CULTURE REFERENCES???? That was my FAVORITE PART! ANd they're ALL GONE!

2. Shrek doesn't wear pajamas to bed? Naughty, naughty.

3. First five minutes: SOOOOO DUMB. "Oh, let's show Shrek bungling the royal duties. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I was SO BORED for like forever. First, he injures some guy he's supposed to be knighting (gets him right in the shoulder), destroys a royal cruise ship (HAHAHAHA, HE THREW THE BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE AT IT! Yeah, we get it, HE'S AN OGRE!), then he has to set the castle on fire. The fun continues...

4. Btw, my mom bought me a TAKE FIVE bar for the movie. Um, I love those, but not for a movie. In 2 seconds, I am DONE. That's why you buy Skittles, M&M's, and Popables. Proper movie food. And we finished the popcorn before the movie even started. Guess what? NO REFILLS! -_- No butter.

5. "Oh Fiona, I'm a horrible king, I'm an OGRE." Nooooooooo, really?

6. The death scene of the king was pretty funny. He had 2 false alarms with a lot of wheezing. His real death was much less dramatic. Just flops over limply. Kind of a let down after, "His name is...his name is...HIS NAME IS...*wheeeeze wheeeze cough cough hack blaaaaaaah*" Then he eats a fly that's flying near donkey. Predictable, but a good sign of humor to come. Or so I'd hoped.

7. Must find Artie, where is Artie????

8. Why doesn't Fiona tell Shrek she's pregnant on the dock? "No Shrek...actually, nothing, um, you can go, I just won't tell you THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY UTERUS! ACTUALLY, THREE SOMETHINGS! YOU THOUGHT I WAS JUST FAT? OOOOOHH NO!"

9. It was pretty funny, though. She's trying to tell him and the Viking captain keeps blowing the foghorn. "I said I'm *HONK HONK*"

10. Quick interjection: What a horribly funny joke:
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital because she now considered Edna to be mentally stable.
The director went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you being discharged because you responded so rationally to a crisis by jumping into the pool to save the life of another person. Your action displays sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

11. Back to the story. So they go to Artie's high school, where he is a grade A nerd. BUt then again, he IS Justin Timberlake. Booooo...

12. With Lancelot's character, they didn't even try. THey just copied Charming, made him a little heavier, and died his hair black. He even had the same accent.

13. Some girl asks out Shrek. Hahaha, high school humor.

14. Artie gets a wedgie from some nerds. How sad.

15. Fiona's baby shower was messed up. She gets a dwarf, a pooper scooper (IT'S FOR THE POOPIES!), and a baby front pack (Gingy: "I know the baby will love it, because I DO!").

16. Not politically correct: Are Pinnocchio and Gingy gay together?

17. Just wondering. No offense.

18. Then Charming attacks the palace, and Fiona and the girls escape. So Charming comes in, finds the sidekicks drinking tea, and threatens Gingy, who's life flashes before his eyes.
BEST SCENE IN THE WHOLE MOVIE! All of sudden he's singing, "...the lollipops....the candy shop..."

19. Pinnocchio has very good logic. He's very smart. "I don't know where he's not..." "So you KNOW where he is..." "*something very smart*"

20. Some Monty Python guy does the voice of Merlin.

21. So Fiona and the princesses are captured, Rapunzel turns out to be evil (totally should have seen that coming...), and then there's this whole feminist thing about them breaking out and saving the day, yo.

22. There's so many MESSAGES in this movie. "Dads who leave kids suck. Be yourself. You can do ANYTHING. Feminists rule. Frogs have nine lives." It was like watching "Seventh Heaven".

23. Like ARties lil speech at the end, "You don't have to be villains. You can be whatever you want to be. Only YOU are standing in your way. *points to Rumpelstiltskin*" "Me?" "LET'S GET HIM!"

24. I thought Artie would do something much more impressive. Like sing "Sexyback" in a drunken voice. "I'm bringing shexyback..."

25. I started singing it during his boring speech.

26. Lol, Shrek had all these dreams about having babies. i thought they were cute. A mountain of babies pours into his hut, and then he's speaking to a crowd of babies, and he's naked, and they're all cute and laughing. Awwwww.

27. And at the end, he has triplets, and they're ADORABLE. The bald one is, anyway.

28. I love the names of Donkey's children. He has five...there's Cocoa, Peanut, and Bananas, and he didn't say the others... :(

So it wasn't great. But it was a good cynical little cartoon movie. I love this franchise, but by the time "Shrek 4" comes out, I will have moved on.

The Celebrity Dolls continue...Blake Lewis

He's pretty ugly and not very Blake-like. AKA no facial hair. I like the jacket, though. This is biased because I suddenly hate Blake. he's been corrupted. He will lose his uniqueness (like he already has) and become another love-song crooing Elliot Yamin (Yeah, we get it, Elliott, you lost yo baby and now your soooo sorry!). I just need some shoes. Converse? Sure. Black shoes, black shoes. I feel like making another one after this. Who should it be? OH, and a hat for Blake. Simon Cowell, maybe? I just need old man jeans and a tight shirt. DANG, who should I MAKE, seeing as I can only make WHITE PEOPLE! I'd love to make James Lackey. Or Teddy...OMG, TEDDY GEIGER! These hats are way messed up. Antlers? Kitty ears? Bunny ears? A throbbing lump of flesh? Right now Blake has a visor... Hm... I guess the only good hats are the ones that come with hairstyles. I'll keep trying though. My aunt got me this awesome CD case for my birthday a while back and you can put a photo in it, but I don't have any photos of myself, so, like the immature fourteen year old I am, I'm debating which magazine picture to put in: the "after" picture of Teddy Geiger (sooooo hot) or Usher and his little brother James (little as in younger, not like 2...), who are BOTH hot.
Well, here he is; the imperfect Blake Lewis.
What ever happened to Chris Sligh, everybody???

SOMEHOW I'LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU

William's watching "Mulan". I like the "Be a Man" song. Tis cool.
HOW COULD I HAVE NOT TALKED ABOUT THIS AMERICAN IDOL SEASON AT ALL YET????? I don't really like any of the girls. AAAAAAAAS USUAL. But some of the guys are okay. Tell you the truth, this was a real boring season. All the interesting people got cut and the girls can't dance. I like Chris Sligh, though. He's one of the best voices and he's hilarious. he looks just like Jack Osbourne and reminds me a lot of Mario off "Beauty and the Geek" WHICH IS TONIGHT! Yeah, who cares about the girls, I wanna watch "Beauty and the Geek: The Reunion". Because Jennylee and Nate are getting back together and ONE OF THE CONTESTANTS GOT MARRIED!!!!!
I bet it's Mario.
"Dododododo. *pantomiming squeezing* DEE! DEE! DEE!"
I really want some shells. Like the pasta. Yum.
With lots of butttttter. And a burger with American cheese and that I didn't finish at Red Robin on Monday. :( I'm so STUPID. But I was eating a chocolate malt with the malt still visible on the bottom, which was kind of nifty. POTATOES. And the fries were okay, but the burger was delicious and I GAVE IT ALL AWAY WHEN I NEEDED YOU TO STAY! OPEN UP YOUR HEART, I NEED YOU HERE! Wow, that was a random little burst into a "Red" song.
I wonder what "The Outsiders" was about last night. *shrug* Hm, I'll never know.
WOO WOO WOO.
Uhhhhhhh...I'm playing "Legacy" again. Have Cocktail and ZickZack AGAIN, because I ALWAYS get them, I never get Barbie, even though she's fast, and I guess I could pick any other horse and it wouldn't matter, I'd still win, because I totally kicked butt with Alpha, and he's hecka slow.
Phew.
Basketball was crazy, but I didn't wimp out during practice like I did Monday. I missed school AND the game against S. yesterday. We lost. We are 0-3. Varsity is 3-0. Life just isn't FAIR.
Danny hates my Teen Titans powerpoint because I said Coach Boone's counterpart was racist to help with the plot.
Ooops.