Exploding volcano of passion

Lol, I just read a historical romance by Meg Cabot.
It was basically a rip-off of Princess Diaries. But she won't admit it.
And she wrote another romance with almost the exact same plot, word for word.
Seriously. Read these descriptions:
Nicola and the Viscount
It's only her first London season, but sixteen-year-old Nicola has made up her mind: Handsome, charming, poetry-reading Lord Sebastian is, simply, a god. So when the divine viscount starts paying special attention to her, Nicola is certain she's found her destiny.
Everything is perfect until the infuriating - and disturbingly handsome - Nathaniel Sheridan begins to cast doubt on the viscount's character...and on Nicola's feelings.

Victoria and the Rogue
Wealthy young heiress Lady Victoria Arbuthnot is accustomed to handling her own affairs - and everyone else's. So, when she's suddenly sent to London to find a husband, Victoria quickly finds a perfect English gentleman.
Everything is just as she wants it - that is, if the raffish young ship captain Jacob Carstairs would stop meddling in her plans.

Good times.
But the Nicola plot seemed suspiciously familiar.
A girl falls for a handsome, Aryan god, only to change her mind about him and go for her best friend's intelligent, dark-haired, good-looking BROTHER, Michael Moscovitz, er, Nathaniel Sheridan.
I was on the edge of my seat wondering how it would end! Would it be Sebastian? Nathaniel? Harold? Lol, I stayed up till 1:00 reading it. It had a completely satisfying ending...if you can call it that. But romantic cliches were plentiful and the historical anachronisms made me giggle.
And THEN, I find a preview of ANOTHER historical romance (sadly, not written by Meg Cabot) called "Catherine and the Pirate". The description alone was enough to set me aflame with curiousity...or something like that. It was hard to tell; I was laughing too hard.
Sometimes a girl does have her sights set on the right guy from the start, though. Take Catherine, of the next Avon True Romance, Catherine and the Pirate: she can't help but be attracted to Derrick. So what if he has an unsavory seafaring past? So what if he's her brother's best friend? So what if he acts as though he's not into her? That one kiss had to have meant something! Right?
They went on to describe it as a heartstopping, high-seas adventure.
"Nicola and the Viscount" had plenty of adventure. She was kidnapped by bad guys in broad daylight and locked in a tiny room in a London flat when she refused to bend to their will! Then, when one of her captors came in to torment her, she knocked him out with an ale pitcher and climbed out the window onto the roof! Grant, the evil cabby driver, began to pursue her, but felt himself beginning to slide off! Desperately, he grabbed Nicola's dress, bringing her down with him. Nicola thought she was going to die...but ending up landing in Nathaniel's arms. Grant fell into a water trough.
That's about as exciting as it gets around here.

What do you expect with dial-up?

My dad's freaking out. When you listen to itunes while you're online, the songs sometimes skip.
But whatever. It only does that when you're on the cpu and/or playing a CD while doing a billion other things.
But my dad is worried that the skipping means the songs themselves are flawed and will sound funny on his ipod.
He refuses to be pacified.
He's also worried that my brothers and I are having the Worst Summer Ever, because we're laying around the house doing nothing.
Or, in my case, spending ungodly amounts of time on Facebook and reading too much Meg Cabot (even though I dislike her strongly, I'm still rather addicted to Princess Diaries).
But no. We have to be doing Activities to be having any fun!
But then he worries that we don't like the activities.
So he's very stressed this summer.
He shouldn't be, though; we LIKE being lazy. That's the WHOLE POINT of summer!
I loved Stateside, it was great, and there was so much stuff to do, but now that it's over, even though I get a little bored with the light workload, I just want to relax.
And we had this weird conversation about the WEATHER of all things, where he freaked out because I'd heard something DIFFERENT from him.
It was so weird. He made it this big production, and it was like, "Dad, really, we watch different news channels. Who cares?"
I've learned a lot about him this summer, and I hope it's helping.
The black-bottom cupcakes don't have enough cream cheese!
Instead of being cream cheesy and delicious, they have a hidden pocket of cream cheese that's overpowered by devil's food!
WHAT WILL WE DO??
I would love it if my internet didn't have a heart attack every time I loaded a game of some sort.
I'm kicked offline 45% of the time because of this.
My dad is all, "Maybe at the end of the summer, we'll get high speed!"
Awesome! Seeing as we're years behind!
Oh my gosh, it's dead.

And they wonder why I'm paranoid...

Just typing away in my own little world while my dad plunks away on piano.
But he's not paying attention.
Now that we have all this glorious free time, he's been thinking up all these projects we can do.
House cleaning projects, not Girl Scout crafts or anything.
We cleaned the windows yesterday. Weeee...
It involved a lot of Windex and Brawny paper towels.
I miss the old Brawny guy. Have I ever said that? He was a real man.
But anyway.
I cleaned the insides and he cleaned the outsides.
There was a frustrating point where he gave me really vague instructions on how to do something involving the vacuum, so, after spending an agonizing five minutes trying to figure out how to put the hose on (I figured it out eventually, lol), I vacuumed up all the dust and dog hair on the window sill.
How dog hair got on the window sill is beyond me.
But that's what I thought he wanted me to do.
But, apparently, I HADN'T done what he'd wanted and suddenly he's at me with all these detailed instructions.
And I got mad because if he'd wanted me to do all that, why hadn't he told me in the first place?
But his response was, "Well, I'm telling you now."
But I thought it was a job well done, and now he's telling me I haven't done the job at all. This wouldn't have happened if you'd told me in the first place!
"But I'm telling you now."
Ugh.
It's strange that we can't seem to communicate, even though we're more alike than different.
Thankfully, David Bowie was playing in the background and brought peace to the situation.
Half-Priced Books is my new favorite store.
My mom and I went on Wednesday, and we walked in to find a mini-Powells, with huge stacks of books, CDs, and stationary everywhere. There were hundreds of movies in wooden shelves that stretched halfway across the store. There was a music section with tons of CDs, new and old. I found Elvis Costello, David Bowie, Morrissey, the Beatles, Fall Out Boy, Rod Stewart, Michael Jackson, and Billy Idol, but ended up buying only one CD.
The teen section had more books than Barnes and Noble.
That section alone was bigger than the entire Used Book Store in Silverdale.
Maybe not.
But I found tons of stuff.
I ended up getting Princess Diaries #7 (the only one I needed besides the pesky 1/2 and 3/4 novels); two of my favorite books, "Chasing Redbird" and "The Boyfriend List"; "The Mother Daughter Book Club", which had cutesy tween illustrations on the cover and looked distracting; and David Bowie's "Changes"; and half a dozen books for my mom, all for only $32.
How amazing is that???
I haven't been this exciting since visiting Tacoma's Borders Books, where I bought two books for $7 each.
Borders is amazing...
...but Half-Priced Books is even better, I must say.
"Changes" is my new favorite song. Well, that and "Heroes". And "Diamond Dogs". And "Fame".
Ugh, my brother's friend is here and they're being irritating and pre-teen-y.
He was playing with Hillary, my Darth Sidious doll (long story).
Just playing around like it was totally okay.
It was not okay.
But I just kept my mouth shut and made grilled cheese.
It was a pretty delicious sandwich, too.

ZOMFG PRINCESS DIARIES FAN ART!!!!

Really? Is there really no one else in this world that didn't enjoy "Princess Diaries 10: Forever Princess"?
I mean, it's been a month.
You can't tell me EVERYONE liked it.
But apparently everyone DID.
So much, in fact, thtat they consider it THE BEST ONE IN THE SERIES.
Wow. Weird.
For 99.9% of the female teenage population, this book made them replace Stephenie Meyer with Meg Cabot as the BEST writer of all time!!
Yet for me, it did just the opposite.
I am most likely never going to pick up a Meg Cabot book ever again for as long as I live.
Well, not true. I'll probably reread "The Princess Diaries" series from time to time.
But I'm not really enjoying Meg Cabot's predictable style.
And I'm still bitter for having Mia end up with Michael.
Making J.P. out to be a creepy, self-centered loser was pretty lame and sort of immature.
And, as an expert on all things immature, I would know.
I've been seeing a lot of Princess Diaries fan art with pictures of Mia, Michael, Mia and Michael, and "memorable" quotes from the series.
So I was really bored...
...and used the Candybar 5 doll maker to make a Mia doll.
Yeah, really.
It just kind of bugged me!! They were making pictures of Mia with brown or black hair!!! Mia is blonde (with green streaks, apparently)!! And Michael ended up as a manly, broad-shouldered, stupid-looking jock.
What?? That's not what comes to mind when you think "sarcastic, demanding, selfish, intelligent computer geek".
That's right. I made a Michael doll, too.
And it was sadly the most fun I've had all day.
It was surprisingly hard finding a suitable outfit, though.
But we got there eventually.
Superfans were also making "Princess Diaries" playlists.
Which I scoffed at.
Until I realized I do the exact same thing.
Whatever. They added "Love Story" by Taylor Swift and a LOT of Katy Perry songs.
Geez. Who knew Katy Perry was a Princess Diaries fan?