These shoes are $300!!!

You think GIRLS are finicky shoppers?
I went shopping for shirts and ties with my brother - he just bought a suit.
Then he and my mom discussed color and pattern for what seemed like hours.
It seemed like they were on the same wavelength, but if I tried to make a seemingly helpful comment, it was wrong.
So they just ENTJ-ed together while I pouted in a corner.
But that was me overreacting again. Nathan finally decided on a white shirt with two solid-colored ties (mustard yellow and maroon) and my mom bought me ice cream, which was nice since I didn't make her shopping trip any easier.
Then, since there was, for some strange reason, a coffee table in the backseat, we all crammed into the front seat.
It was like riding in a clown car.
Then Nathan and I squabbled over the seatbelt ("I was trying to find it." "You were taking forever!" "YOu were sitting on it!" "Why didn't you ask me to move?" "I didn't know you were sitting on it!!!"). Fun stuff.
Life has been pretty slow and the most excitement I had was laughing at some molested turkeys (long story) and trying to figure out who was eating all the Pop Tarts.
Seriously, it's a mystery.
William just ripped out 2 Pop Tarts like it was no big deal, but he said he didn't eat any the day before. Actually, he said he didn't eat 2 yesterday, which, according to William Logic, probably means he ate one the day before, and then one the next day, but that's not technically eating 2 in one day, which is what he is convinced had me so incensed.
I was just curious. My dad was giggling rather guiltily, but seemed appalled that I would accuse him of taking the dang Pop Tarts.
Aaargh. THEY WERE SUNDAE FLAVORED!!!
I just want to know.
Dad's trying to kill the dog. Not entirely sure why.
Life for her in this heat wave hasn't been fun. Can you imagine a black dog, even a short hair one, finding respite from this heat?
I can't either. And she's having a hard time finding it. Instead of being her chipper self, you can find her lying lazily all over the house: in front of the bathroom, in various doorways, next to the screen door, etc.
And on my bed. A lot of the time. We're sleeping without sheets, which means clothes are mandatory.
Awwwww darn.
Lol. Kidding.
Or am I?

Aw, fudge.

Mmmm, fudge sounds goooooood.
I took my driver's test today...aaaaaaaand it didn't go so well.
It wasn't even like, "Oh, you missed it by this much!" I failed miserably.
And I knew it.
First thing on the test: PARALLEL PARKING.
I'd had five people tell me it wouldn't be on the test, but I guess I didn't read the pamphlet thoroughly enough, because I had to do it.
That was the first thing I did wrong.
I hit a cone, then tried to pull into the parking spot, but ended up parking NEXT to the spot.
I was completely parallel, too. How did that happen?
So I tried again.
Another epic failure.
My driving instructor, a really nice Guamanean lady, sighed and wearily asked me to re-enter traffic.
Which I did.
For the rest of the test I did fine. I'm a good driver.
Sort of.
Then I had to back around a corner.
I thought I understood her instructions, but apparently I wasn't listening hard enough or my brain malfunctioned, because an instant after she said them I forgot. I started turning my wheels every which way, bumping into the curb, ramming into brick walls, and asking, "Wait, you want me to turn into the driveway? Straight line into the driveway? Oh, turn RIGHT!" So I turned my car left.
She sighed again and asked me to re-enter traffic without killing anybody, which I managed to do.
The atmosphere of the car wasn't a hopeful one. A dark cloud hung over the Le Sabre and her body language boded ill.
But she was really nice about it.
Ed would have berated me and explained every little thing I did wrong and what a bad driver I was, compared to him and every other teenager out there.
Actually, that's kind of what she did.
But the WAY she did it wasn't as mean.
So she left and my dad came back and I had another big fight with him (we'd had one coming into the parking lot, when he decided constructive criticism was the best way to go - right before my test!!!).
He wanted me to go inside the DOL and renew my permit.
At this point, after *cough cough* bravely listening to my instructor tell me just how badly I failed, I couldn't take it anymore was bawling like a baby.
And my dad expected me to go inside, red-eyed and tear-stained, to smile for my permit picture.
That didn't go over well.
So he yelled a lot and I cried and might have cussed him out.
Correction: I did cuss him out.
Which he let go. I was a little surprised. I've never been grounded, but for what I said, I probably should have been.
It was bad.
But my mom bought me flavored Tootsie rolls and let me chill out and get away from people for a little while.
So Tie and I went on a long walk.
We were greatly cheered by cheery mechanics, cute old people, and skeevy old bikers.
The Lance Armstrong kind, not the tough leather-clad variety.
This one rode by me at least 5 times.
The last time he called out, "Good morning," and smirked heartily.
It cracked me up, but I couldn't figure out his motives.
Was he checking me out (unlikely) or trying to prove that he was so much faster than A GIRL WALKING HER DOG?
Congratulations! You can bike 2 miles faster than I can walk them! Good for you! By the way, I'M 16!!!!
He was at least 30.
Maybe even 40.
Ew.

I'm gonna get so drunk...on Mountain Dew!!

Tie and I were accosted by some Mormons today.
We'd seen them approach a couple people walking in front of us, so we crossed over to the other side of the street, just to be safe.
There's nothing wrong with Mormons. But I didn't want to take part in a polite, but passionate spiritual debate.
They saw me and greeted me anyway, commenting on Tie's interesting appearance.
For those of you that haven't seen her, she looks like a giant bat/miniature wolf.
Then they politely asked me if I'd be interested in going to their church.
I asked if they meant the Mormon church.
Our conversation went something like this.
"Hello there, ma'am. Are you enjoying your walk?"
"Um...yes." The sky is a lovely dark gray and it's 60 degrees outside. I'm walking 2 miles in flip-flops with an overly-curious dog. Not so much.
"Wow, what kind of dog is that."
I didn't really feel like explaining. "I don't know. I got her off the internet." Weird as it sounds, that happens to be true.
There is a brief moment of good-natured laughter.
"Well, ma'am, would you be interested in checking out our church?"
Um, do you mean temple? "Um, do you mean the Mormon church?"
"Yes, that's it's nickname."
More laughter.
I tried to extricate myself from the situation politely without coming off as a Bible thumper. This is what I managed to come up with: "Um...no thanks. I believe in the Bible, not the Book of Mormon."
The Mormons only seemed a little offended, but they got more aggressive with their pitch.
"We believe in the Bible, too!"
"No, thanks...I'm good." Aren't I so wonderful with people?
"Oh, well, do you know who wrote the Book of Mormon?"
What kind of question is that? "No...."
"Well, it was written around the same time as the Bible. In fact, they were written at the same time." Um, that's cool. I'm really not sure what you're trying to prove.... "I really don't think you understand. We could definitely explain it to you so you DO understand."
"Um, no, that's okay. I'm just...not in the mood for a spiritual debate. Have a nice day, though."
"Oh. Okay. Well, have a nice day."
I felt bad. Maybe I should have talked to them, but I know they would have talked me down. And I didn't really feel like explaining the differences between our two "religions" and pointing out that what they believe is COMPLETELY different from what I believe.
And as soon as I walked away, I thought up all this stuff I could've said that would've been direct, but not overly confrontational.
But that's how life works.
I like Mormons in general. For some reason, they're always really polite and chatty.
Sure, some of them get a little overzealous.
But there were two Mormons who talked to me today, and the one who didn't do any talking was completely cheerful and friendly, where the other guy was friendly, but still a little persistent.
And my Mormon guy friends are chivalrous, respectful, and moral.
So all the good ones aren't taken. They're Mormon. And the Bible (I couldn't resist being a little preachy) told me I shouldn't get involved with someone who doesn't believe in Hell.
Or that Jesus was the Son of God.
Oh, and good works aren't everything.

Rawr, I'm the Kraken!

Hmmm, I'm seeing a pattern.
People are odd.
Or rather, the GHOSTS of people.
That makes me miss Nathan. He's visiting for Thanksgiving!
Nathan: gHoOoOoOoOoOsTs!!!!
And so is Marie!!!
She doesn't yell "gHoOoOoOoOoSts" very often, though.
Pastor Barry is starting in Titus and preached about the qualities of a pastor. He spent a little bit of timing emphasizing the woman's role in the church, and how women should not be pastors.
It's weird that this is such a gray area when it's explicitly stated in the Bible that women should have not have a leadership role in spiritual matters in the church.
Some people walked out. Poor Pastor Barry.
Two random people stayed at our house last night. They were part of a traveling singing group that's going to be in our area for a while and they needed housing. It was kind of weird, but they were nice and weren't even here for long. One was from Tennessee, and the other from Alaska. She can see Russians from her backyard.
That's a Sarah Palin joke.
Which you probably all know.
Ooh, that Sarah Palin.
It's weird seeing people you grew up with mature and become a totally different person (not always in a bad way).
Robert came to our concert on Thursday and his voice has changed and he's at least 2 inches taller than me.
Oh yeah, and he's shaving.
People I used to hang out with all the time in junior high aren't exactly my friends anymore, and some people I used to know aren't even in the same country now.
Was there a massive Change Tornado I was unaware of?
Apparently.
Tie resists change. And she's needy.
And she crawled into bed with me at 6:00 because it was cold.
So she lay in the middle and spread out, forcing me to huddle near the wall.
Good practice for marriage, I guess.
Which would sound perverted if you hadn't read all of the above content.
Would you all like to toast metaphorically with me? Here's an imaginary champagne glass (it's okay even if you don't drink: there are no imaginary drinking laws).
Here's to switching out of history!!

Happy colors and fashion advice

Fridays are so great. Best day of the week.
I finally took my chocolate to school again and sold almost half my remaining bars.
Progress reports don't come out until next week, but I'm pretty sure I'm passing each class with at least a high B.
WE DIDN'T FAIL THE HISTORY TEST!
Kay wasn't here today and missed the movie about parasitism. :( The bird ate the zits of the mistletoe and then crapped them onto the tree!
No more subtitles. We're so screwed.
Janessa's party is tonight, and I'm pretty pumped.
But there's so much to do.
Ew, gross. I think I'm fighting a losing battle.
In math, we just started STANDARD DEVIATION!! YES! I'm good at this!!
Alexander the Great was a hottie, apparently.
Tie's foot started bleeding all over the carpet when I got home from school.
And that interesting tidbit and the fact that I have nothing else to say means it is, in fact, a Friday.

I'll steeeeeeeal you, Johanna!

I think I'm in love. I'm planning on proposing any time now.
Seriously. These jeans are amazing.
Aaargh, this quiz was pretty inaccurate, but this one was closer out of the two answers I got.

You Are an Eyebrow Piercing

You are unique, quirky, and more than a little eccentric. You cultivate the weirder sides of your personality, and you don't mind sharing them. Ever since you were a kid, you've had strong opinions. You've never been like everyone else, and you're okay with that. And you've always been able to tell people exactly what you think - even when they don't want to hear it. You love to create, dream, imagine, and communicate. You live in your own universe. And unlike most people who live in their own little world, you're happy to invite anyone in!

What Piercing Are You?

Aaagh. Eyebrow piercing. That seems like it would be uber-painful.
But not as painful as a lip piercing.
A nose piercing still seems the coolest and least painful, even though it would be in cartilage, not just skin.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH there was an article on Barack Obama and Joe Biden in the paper today and it made me SO MAD.
Not because of what the article itself, but because of the subheading.
"Democrats hope the veteran Delaware senator will attract voters who have been alluding Barack Obama - white, blue-collar workers."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And it's not what the subheading SAYS that bugs me, because that's probably true, but they used the wrong word!!!
"Alluding" means to reference or mention.
If the white, blue-collar workers have been "alluding" to Barack Obama, why does he need Joe Biden to attract them?
The proper word would have been "elude", which means to avoid or escape.
AARGH it was another proud American moment.
Cuz we're living in America
At the end of the millenium
We're living in America
Leave your consience at the tone.
That song is too great. I might be able to buy that soundtrack on Tuesday - finally!
I listened to the original cast Broadway recording and that was pretty spectacular.
Tie chased Luke around the yard yesterday and Luke almost had a heart attack, but he was okay and tried to bite me when I refilled his food bowl, so he's fine.
Tie's obsessed with him now and races to his cage when I let her outside.
Little psycho.

Gladiators wore Jimmy Choos?

Running in flip-flops should be an Olympic Event.
Seriously.
There was this creepy man I saw when talking Tie on a walk who was sitting on his steps reading a magazine wearing nothing but a flimsy pair of cotton shorts (??), and he got up really fast when he saw me, so I sort of freaked out and was like, "Let's run to the park, Tie!"
And now he's probably like, "Do I really look that bad in my shorts?"

It's not the power of the curse...

...it's the power you give the curse.
Thank you, creepy cross-eyed British boy.
"I don't get it. What does it mean?"
How come half of the kids were American and half were British? It was like London, only not.
Yeah, I'm talking about "Penelope".
Lame, we're leaving for Pullman tomorrow morning to drop Nathan off at WSU, and Tie is with her former owner Courtney until Wednesday.
Courtney's really nice and Tie likes her, but I'm scared Tie won't want to come back home.
:(
I think having inappropriate conversations (on paper) during church is a sin.
"Thriller" is a cool song.
Yeah diehards!!
Do do do do do do do.

Tie

Okay, I love Tie to death, but I could come up with a surprising amount of things about her that bug me. I guess that's true of everyone, I guess, but Tie is the one I'm compiling a list of Pet Peeves about.
Top 20 Pet Peeves About Tie
1. She has a loud, high-pitched bark.
2. She barks often.
3. She barks at all my friends and their dogs.
4. She barks at strangers.
5. She barks in the middle of the night. It's often Nathan's fault.
6. She loves going on walks, but even after all these walks, she's NEVER tired out.
7. She likes to RUN during these walks. Even if it's 90 degrees outside. And you're in flip-flops. She made me run through a field today. I got dew on my flip-flops and kept sliding around in them.
8. After these walk/runs, she's ready for a rousing game of "tug-of-war" with her "rope".
9. She always wants to bite the HANDLE of the rope, which was made to make tug-of-war easier for the owner. But nooooo.
10. She bites your fingers during tug-of-war.
11. My slippers are fuzzy, therefore they are fair game.
12. If you spend a minute on the computer, she will come downstairs and lie by the wheels of your rolly chair, putting her in potential danger if you decide to move.
13. She hates baths. If you give her a bath, she won't look at you for hours.
14. Right after a bath, she goes out and rolls in the dirt.
15. And that's when she decides to go sit on your lap.
16. She sits at the table and naps on the bed like a "people".
17. She never backs down from a fight. I often have to carry her away from other dogs. Like the fat little sausage dachsund we saw today.
18. She's PUSHY! She nevers ASKS to sit on your lap anymore; she just does. And then today, when Dad wanted me to take her on a walk, she brought my flip flops downstairs and stared at me while I played "Avatar Prom". Then she repeatedly opened my door while I was CHANGING MY CLOTHES to make sure I was ACTUALLY changing clothes and not, you know, sleeping.
19. She's scared of the saxophone. Probably because Dad chased her around while playing a REALLY high note yesterday. Things like that could scar a dog for life. But still. Now she barks at it, runs away in terror when Dad starts to play, and has to sniff it every time she goes downstairs to make sure it is, indeed, "dead".
20. She's a Patterdale Terrier, so when people ask me what kind of dog she is, I say, "Patterdale Terrier," and they have NO idea what I'm talking about. So I just say, "Terrier," but THAT doesn't help because then they either don't believe me or ask what KIND of terrier. And THEN they ask where I got her and I have to admit I found her on the internet. Even though it wasn't me. It was my mom.

Boxers are the greatest

And I'm not talking about the dog.
Seriously, they're SOOOOO comfortable. I can see why guys wear them. Everyone should wear boxers. And they increase fertility!
Sex Ed has been going pretty well in Health. We're now watching some Pam Stenzel videos. Everyone else kind of hates her, but she's pretty cool. Her dad was a rapist. That sucks. She doesn't know her real ethnicity.
Life has been kind of boring lately.
School won't hurry up and end all ready. We still have 2 MORE WEEKS left. Math is the only class I enjoy now. Besides English. And Health, sometimes.

What the Beach Test Says About You

You like people, but you're careful about who you get close to. Friendship is important to you... so important that you aren't just friends with anyone. You fall in love with ease and confidence. Even if you've had bad experiences in the past, each new love is a reason to start completely over. You are deeply passionate about several things in your life. You're not passionate about much... and the few passions you have are truly obsessions. Your sense of humor is goofy and silly. You are good at making almost anyone laugh.

The Beach Test

We've had Tie 2 weeks and she's pretty amazing. She waited for me until I woke up, and then acted all excited when I finally got out of bed. How nice is that?
"Am I Right or Am I Right?" was a REALLY SAD BOOK. It was funny, sort of obnoxious, and oblivious, but the end was hopeful. It was just so sad.
"To Kill a Mockingbird" and "Freakonomics" are two of my favorite books now. Boo Radley is the bomb. I wish I was Boo Radley. That book was sad, too.
Peter Abrahams is awesome. His Echo Falls series is pretty dang cool.
Those dang sighs and groans.
I think I'm seeing "Kung Fu Panda" with my brothers today. Sweet.