Reality Checks for Lovesick Teenagers

I'm actually in a fairly good mood, not bitter at all.
For the most part.
Just very sarcastic and a little cynical.
But only a little.
Musicals were a great invention. That and 80's music. Seriously, are William and I the only people who thought Huey Lewis was black?
But yeah. This is me trying to be funny.

1. For guys: Everyone has an excretory system.
Meaning the girl you think about day and night takes a dump every now and again. Heck, she's probably taking one right now. And, being perfectly honest, they *gasp* FART, too! I know you didn't want to hear it, but it had to be said. My point is: nobody's perfect. And they sometimes smell gross.

2. For girls: Though all teenage boys play guitar, most of them don't play it that well.
So don't be expecting any Joe Jonas-esque love songs. They're probably still struggling with "Smoke on the Water"...and love songs are the last things on their mind, for various reasons.

3. For guys: Of course she gets moody once a month.
What else did you expect? Here's what I suggest: either run and hide or LEAVE HER ALONE. And just because she's a nightmare now doesn't mean she stopped "loving" you. WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER. THIS COULD RESULT IN WEEPING, GNASHING OF TEETH, AND/OR DEATH.

4. For girls: He's going to stare at other girls.
There are some cases where he can't help it. If you're really bothered by it, start wearing shorter skirts. (To Christians: Sorry, just kidding!)

5. For girls: Do NOT overanalyze every conversation.
There is NOT a hidden message, spelling either, "I love you," or, "I hate you," behind every sentence of his. He usually just means what he says.

6. For guys: Yes, she really is talking about you in the bathroom
But you already knew that.

7. For guys: She'd rather hear, "You're beautiful," than, "You look hot."
Because the latter makes you sound stupid. And sort of sleazy. Unless you WANT to grow up to be a 40-year-old virgin/lecher.

8. For girls: Be glad that he has guy friends.
Sure, you freak out when he'd rather hang out with his male companions than you, but all that estrogen can be cloying after a little while. And don't be worried that he's really in the closet and is sneaking away to be with his boyfriend: it's not true. If he wants to hang out with other girls, however, then you've got a problem...but I digress.

9. For guys: Sports are boring. So are cars.
Yeah, some girls like them, but for the most part, Nascar and March Madness don't get them excited. So don't dwell on those subjects, please.

10. For both: THIS IS NOT LOVE.
It's mostly just hormones and other things. You will not marry this person. You will break up sooner or later, and may or may not remain friends.

Yep. Exactly. And this is coming from "Dr. Love".
That was super entertaining, though. Immature and fun. But now I have to go to bed.

Rawr, I'm the Kraken!

Hmmm, I'm seeing a pattern.
People are odd.
Or rather, the GHOSTS of people.
That makes me miss Nathan. He's visiting for Thanksgiving!
Nathan: gHoOoOoOoOoOsTs!!!!
And so is Marie!!!
She doesn't yell "gHoOoOoOoOoSts" very often, though.
Pastor Barry is starting in Titus and preached about the qualities of a pastor. He spent a little bit of timing emphasizing the woman's role in the church, and how women should not be pastors.
It's weird that this is such a gray area when it's explicitly stated in the Bible that women should have not have a leadership role in spiritual matters in the church.
Some people walked out. Poor Pastor Barry.
Two random people stayed at our house last night. They were part of a traveling singing group that's going to be in our area for a while and they needed housing. It was kind of weird, but they were nice and weren't even here for long. One was from Tennessee, and the other from Alaska. She can see Russians from her backyard.
That's a Sarah Palin joke.
Which you probably all know.
Ooh, that Sarah Palin.
It's weird seeing people you grew up with mature and become a totally different person (not always in a bad way).
Robert came to our concert on Thursday and his voice has changed and he's at least 2 inches taller than me.
Oh yeah, and he's shaving.
People I used to hang out with all the time in junior high aren't exactly my friends anymore, and some people I used to know aren't even in the same country now.
Was there a massive Change Tornado I was unaware of?
Apparently.
Tie resists change. And she's needy.
And she crawled into bed with me at 6:00 because it was cold.
So she lay in the middle and spread out, forcing me to huddle near the wall.
Good practice for marriage, I guess.
Which would sound perverted if you hadn't read all of the above content.
Would you all like to toast metaphorically with me? Here's an imaginary champagne glass (it's okay even if you don't drink: there are no imaginary drinking laws).
Here's to switching out of history!!

This tent is for champions...and friends.

Preach it, Viktor, preach it.
Couldn't get to sleep last night. Nice. And I'm supposed to be resting it up for a relatively early morning.
Okay, so a 9:00 band practice isn't that early.
But it's unpleasant.
So I'm back on the horn section. Dean and my dad were right: I AM just an average high school player.
Huh. How humbling.
But the music he gave us made much more sense when it was played with the whole group there. Otherwise, it just sounded like crap.
School starts in 4 days!!! I'm so excited I wish it would go Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and skip Monday.
I have to spend some time with my family at the beach on Monday, when I REALLY wanted to be spending time with Khaled Hosseini.
"The Kite Runner" is getting better and better.
One of the characters just blew the story wide open.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? How did THAT happen?
DOOMSDAY (danger has gone)
DANGER HAS GONE
Good song.

Masochism Day: Painfully Good

Have you ever drunk two very caffeinated sodas and, as a result, were unable to sleep until the wee hours of the morning?
If not, I don't reccomend it.
Mountain Lightning is good and all, but it's pretty powerful for a cheap version of Mountain Dew.
So, when Saturday was just beginning and everyone else was sleeping, I was wide awake reading "The Jane Austen Book Club" and thinking about very random things. Or rather, one thing that wasn't so random.
It was weird.
So I decided today should be Masochism day, a day where people all around the world revisit old memories and take part in activities that are sure to cause them harm or discomfort.
That's sort of what I've been doing today.
I drove all the way to Walmart - on the highway!!
I also did a BLT whilst going very fast, and almost hit 3 people.
Oops.

Prose sucks; don't do it.

Well, I survived my first drive today, as you can already tell.
It wasn't as bad as I'd expected. Pheobe went first, so I got to watch what she did before messing up myself.
I messed up too many times to count, so the observation didn't exactly help any. That's okay, though. I backed the car into a parking space without hitting anyone!
I was feeling bored and annoyed with the fact that I have to carry my wallet/coin purse/thing in my pocket, so I went out and bought a purse. At Walmart. For cheap. It's cute, though, and my mom helped pay for it. Now I'm trying to convince my mom to buy me a cellphone to put IN the purse. She was practically crying, something about how I'm growing up. Yeah. I'm on my way to becoming a girl. Woman. Whatever. Something of that sort.
UGH, Sharon M. Draper's "Romiette and Julio" sucked something serious. I got it because it was an ALA best book and I love all things Romeo and Juliet, but this was just BAD. And I know that if I say it's bad, it doesn't prove that it was a badly written book or that she's a bad author, but in my honest opinion? I'm shocked that anyone could stand it for long enough to read all of it. It was sappy, the word choice felt wrong, the characters were annoying, and NO teenager would say ANY of the things that were written in the hideous dialogue. Think I'm being harsh? Read it. Agh, what a waste of time. And it was supposed to be about overcoming racial prejudice, yet the Mexican guy named his dog "Taco"?
Tie has taken to sleeping on my bed whenever I'm not home, or when I'm not looking. She disappeared for an hour and I found her curled on my pillow.
Aw, Paul Foot got kicked off "Last Comic Standing". His prop comedy routine was pretty awful, though. "I'm, uh, the Cat Assassin. This is like China, you see? China, because it's oppressive. There's oppression." Bill Bellamy practically dragged him off stage. Papa CJ's was bad, too. Sean Cullen and Jeff Dye did the best sets, so I no longer hate Jeff Dye. He proved himself worthy, lol. Adam Hunter and Ron G still suck, though. Especially Adam Hunter. They almost put him into elimination, but they didn't. Because they wanted Iliza. And she MURDERED them.
"Barry Bonds' baseball glove! Barry Bonds' testicles! Britney Spears' mind! LOOK HOW IT JIGGLES!"

M is for Mini-pony!

It's 80 degrees outside, and even though I drank 3 bottles of water/Gatorade I sweat THROUGH my band jacket, the parade was great.
And it went by so quickly.
The waiting part wasn't so fun, but it went by much faster than LAST YEAR.
It was just SO HOT. I know 80 degrees isn't as hot as it could be anywhere else (such as The Gorge or Texas), but the humidity made it seem 100 degrees hotter.
I like how the one day we don't want it to be sunny, it's bright, sunny, and scorching hot.
We got to hang out with the Marines and their horses. They had a miniature horse pulling a cart. "It's a Mini-pony! Look, he even has an M painted on him for Mini-Pony!"
Gatorade is delicious.
Caleb's relatives are cool. They brought us Gatorade and food.
Everyone liked "We Like to Party (The Vengabus)", but no one joined our dance party.
I hate "Raiders March", and will continue to hate it till the day I die.
It doesn't help that the new Indiana Jones movie is coming out soon, and that song will probably be played a billion times.
Then again, I don't have to see it.
Ugh, there was this loser middle school from Sultan who STOLE OUR FIGHT SONG!! We were like, "Whaaat?" But they couldn't play it as well as us, and we played it right before stepping off just to stick it to them.
Buckets of sweat and many dance parties later, the parade was over.
So my Dad took me to 7/11 and let me buy an ice cream.
But Kevin had to lend me a dollar.
TRIPLE CHOCOLATE DRUMSTICKS!!!
I remember eating like 5 of those at Creation.
Aw, Creation.
So yeah.
SWEET, I managed to get through 6 days of Harvest Moon by employing the "Do chores, then sleep" method.
At this rate, I should be done with the chapter by next Saturday!
Maybe I can even beat the game before school gets out!
1 year per week.
4 years remaining.
Wait...how many weeks are left in school?
23 days of school left!!!
That's like....5 weeks.
I CAN BEAT HARVEST MOON BEFORE THEN!!!

Losing faith in better days

That band is kind of wimpy, but that particular song is nice.
Agh, they played Finger Eleven's "Paralyzer" today and I got it stuck in my head. I LOVE that song.
Ugh. I never want to play another home game ever again. At least not one on a Thursday.
Today just felt weird. I woke up at 12 AM and took a shower...because I swore my alarm went off. But it hadn't. It's not sleepwalking, because my eyes were open and I was perfectly concious.
Then the rest of the day...it was like being transported back to 7th grade. I felt so out of place and immature and socially outcast. It was weird.
I think it's the rubber bands.
Then there was a super long time between when school ended and when the game FINALLY started, where we were soundly defeated.
Heh, one of the girls didn't like how I was playing defense on her, so she was all, "Get off me!" Not my fault you can't get the ball.
"Dancing In Red Shoes Will Kill You" is a stupid book. I thought it would be about ballet and stalkers, but it was mostly about sexism, breast reduction surgery, and free expression. Whatever.

Super secret Pastor Matt post

Aaargh. I just realized I REALLY hate the song "Daring Daylight Escape". I mean, the song I guess is fine, but wth?? That is one of the dumbest titles I've ever heard.
So I'm simultaneously pouting and drinking a pumpkin milkshake with sour cream, which is both good and bad, depending on the sip taken.
I don't know, I should've seen it coming, because people that leave the church receive a black mark and are usually shunned, but I didn't think I'd actually be shunned. By an adult, too. Wtf??
Just brings back BAAAAD memories of 4th/5th grade musicals. Yeah, so most of you know what this is about. Aaargh, just made me POed that I wasn't even considered. I didn't exactly reply to the e-mail, but not even considered? At all? Even a little bit??
Yeah. That was the one blemish on my otherwise pleasant Sunday. Yeah, I ACTUALLY had a good Sunday. What a concept. So I'll probably get over it way fast, seeing as I might possibly have a new oppurtunity with the worship team. At least, I'm hoping. Because I don't think they'll take a trombone player, but I can sort of carry a tune. So jealous of that bass player, he's sooooo good, do you do private lessons?? Yeah I guess I'm getting a bass for Christmas? That's pretty cool. I want to pick it out, though. Embarass my dad, too, and get a bright pink one. Then I'll apply a unicorn decal.
I like how I sort of wasted my four day weekend. Oh well. It was nice while it lasted. Now back to stupid Pre-AP. And maybe the science test. I hope, because I've gotten so many false alarms it's not even funny.
I think tomorrow, after I watch "Hairspray" again, I'm going to lock myself in my room and finish "Watership Down" and all the "book letters" I have left to do.
Oh yeah, speaking of books, I finished "Dreamcatcher", and it was really good. I was surprised to find that I actually liked it. The volley of F-words was kind of annoying, but it was a really good story, and wth one of the main characters at the end mentions God in a positive sense? Not your typical Stephen King story!! Aaah the weasels. I may never sit on a toilet again. And I'm probably never drinking water, either, in case it's been infected by a dead dog. Just saying. That spoiled some of the ending.
Aaaaaaaaah, best book I ever read, "24 girls in 7 days". Yeah, sounds perverted, but it's about the prom, and it's surprisingly well written and hilarious. And the ending was so good. It moved me.
Yeah. I have to sleep. Or watch TV. Not sure.