Exploding volcano of passion

Lol, I just read a historical romance by Meg Cabot.
It was basically a rip-off of Princess Diaries. But she won't admit it.
And she wrote another romance with almost the exact same plot, word for word.
Seriously. Read these descriptions:
Nicola and the Viscount
It's only her first London season, but sixteen-year-old Nicola has made up her mind: Handsome, charming, poetry-reading Lord Sebastian is, simply, a god. So when the divine viscount starts paying special attention to her, Nicola is certain she's found her destiny.
Everything is perfect until the infuriating - and disturbingly handsome - Nathaniel Sheridan begins to cast doubt on the viscount's character...and on Nicola's feelings.

Victoria and the Rogue
Wealthy young heiress Lady Victoria Arbuthnot is accustomed to handling her own affairs - and everyone else's. So, when she's suddenly sent to London to find a husband, Victoria quickly finds a perfect English gentleman.
Everything is just as she wants it - that is, if the raffish young ship captain Jacob Carstairs would stop meddling in her plans.

Good times.
But the Nicola plot seemed suspiciously familiar.
A girl falls for a handsome, Aryan god, only to change her mind about him and go for her best friend's intelligent, dark-haired, good-looking BROTHER, Michael Moscovitz, er, Nathaniel Sheridan.
I was on the edge of my seat wondering how it would end! Would it be Sebastian? Nathaniel? Harold? Lol, I stayed up till 1:00 reading it. It had a completely satisfying ending...if you can call it that. But romantic cliches were plentiful and the historical anachronisms made me giggle.
And THEN, I find a preview of ANOTHER historical romance (sadly, not written by Meg Cabot) called "Catherine and the Pirate". The description alone was enough to set me aflame with curiousity...or something like that. It was hard to tell; I was laughing too hard.
Sometimes a girl does have her sights set on the right guy from the start, though. Take Catherine, of the next Avon True Romance, Catherine and the Pirate: she can't help but be attracted to Derrick. So what if he has an unsavory seafaring past? So what if he's her brother's best friend? So what if he acts as though he's not into her? That one kiss had to have meant something! Right?
They went on to describe it as a heartstopping, high-seas adventure.
"Nicola and the Viscount" had plenty of adventure. She was kidnapped by bad guys in broad daylight and locked in a tiny room in a London flat when she refused to bend to their will! Then, when one of her captors came in to torment her, she knocked him out with an ale pitcher and climbed out the window onto the roof! Grant, the evil cabby driver, began to pursue her, but felt himself beginning to slide off! Desperately, he grabbed Nicola's dress, bringing her down with him. Nicola thought she was going to die...but ending up landing in Nathaniel's arms. Grant fell into a water trough.
That's about as exciting as it gets around here.

ZOMFG PRINCESS DIARIES FAN ART!!!!

Really? Is there really no one else in this world that didn't enjoy "Princess Diaries 10: Forever Princess"?
I mean, it's been a month.
You can't tell me EVERYONE liked it.
But apparently everyone DID.
So much, in fact, thtat they consider it THE BEST ONE IN THE SERIES.
Wow. Weird.
For 99.9% of the female teenage population, this book made them replace Stephenie Meyer with Meg Cabot as the BEST writer of all time!!
Yet for me, it did just the opposite.
I am most likely never going to pick up a Meg Cabot book ever again for as long as I live.
Well, not true. I'll probably reread "The Princess Diaries" series from time to time.
But I'm not really enjoying Meg Cabot's predictable style.
And I'm still bitter for having Mia end up with Michael.
Making J.P. out to be a creepy, self-centered loser was pretty lame and sort of immature.
And, as an expert on all things immature, I would know.
I've been seeing a lot of Princess Diaries fan art with pictures of Mia, Michael, Mia and Michael, and "memorable" quotes from the series.
So I was really bored...
...and used the Candybar 5 doll maker to make a Mia doll.
Yeah, really.
It just kind of bugged me!! They were making pictures of Mia with brown or black hair!!! Mia is blonde (with green streaks, apparently)!! And Michael ended up as a manly, broad-shouldered, stupid-looking jock.
What?? That's not what comes to mind when you think "sarcastic, demanding, selfish, intelligent computer geek".
That's right. I made a Michael doll, too.
And it was sadly the most fun I've had all day.
It was surprisingly hard finding a suitable outfit, though.
But we got there eventually.
Superfans were also making "Princess Diaries" playlists.
Which I scoffed at.
Until I realized I do the exact same thing.
Whatever. They added "Love Story" by Taylor Swift and a LOT of Katy Perry songs.
Geez. Who knew Katy Perry was a Princess Diaries fan?